


Comes the Vision, Calm and Clear

by Virtus_Veritas



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Mystery, Other additional Tags may be added as story progresses, Past Lives, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virtus_Veritas/pseuds/Virtus_Veritas
Summary: -------------------- -------------------------Dr. Cho takes note of this, and asks, “What year is this?”Eunwoo, replies almost in annoyance, “1886 of course.”Jinwoo, surprised to hear this and with wide eyes, looks in disbelief at Dr. Cho.  She is also surprised. She only thought to go back to his recent past.  Pausing, she carefully asks, “What is your name?”“Edward.”
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Yoon Sanha
Comments: 28
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1 - New Beginnings

Wearing a warm jacket and red knitted scarf, Sanha stood on the sidewalk looking for the apartment address that Park Jinwoo had texted a month ago. Looking up, he gazed at a well kept and landscaped three story apartment building in an upscale part of Seoul. After double checking the apartment number, he pressed the security gate intercom and a deep, yet pleasant voice replied with a tentative “Yoon Sanha?”

Pleased that the owner of the Academy is in and waiting for him, Sanha replies with a cheerful “Yes, Sajangnim.” confirming that he had indeed arrived. The locked gate clicked open and adjusting the strap of his guitar case over his shoulder, gathers up his luggage and walks to the elevator. The third-floor hallway is wide and elegantly decorated, and Sanha smiles now with growing gratitude to Park Jinwoo for his offer to share his apartment for the next few weeks. Just as Sanha reaches Jinwoo’s door, it swiftly opens and he is met with the inquisitive eyes of his new employer. Smiling, Jinwoo immediately steps forward to help with his luggage while simultaneously escorting Sanha into his spacious apartment.

His first impression of Jinwoo’s home is one of casual elegance and comfort; decorated in a combination of Asian teak furniture, cream and ivory fabrics with European art and antiques, resembling an _Elegant Homes_ magazine layout. But, unlike the sterile photographs of a magazine, it has a home-like comfortable feel with items placed about the room that gives it personality and uniqueness.

“I hope you will be comfortable here.” Jinwoo says with a warm welcoming tone, almost echoing Sanha’s own thoughts.

“I’m sure I will, Sajangnim.” he replies with a wide smile. He is immediately drawn towards a large picture window with a sweeping view of the glittering Seoul skyline with the sun just beginning to set, throwing a bright teal and golden light on the clouds. “What a beautiful view!”

“Please, no honorifics, just call me Jinwoo. Yes, the view is one of main reasons I chose this particular apartment.” Smiling, he gestured towards a side hallway, “Let me show you to your room and then I will prepare a quick snack. I’m sure you must be hungry.”

Sanha grins. “A little, but first I need to wash up and get the grime of travel off me.” Sanha’s flight from Manilla (where he was teaching) was delayed, and the airport was overcrowded with noisy tourists, the ever-present humidity and constant smell of airplane fuel.

“No problem, you will find all you need in the guest bathroom.” Picking up a suitcase, Jinwoo guides Sanha toward the guestroom with its adjoining bathroom, pointing out the kitchen and study. With a pleasant word of thanks, Sanha enters his new comfortable bedroom to unpack and gather a fresh set of clothes.

As the Director of a popular hagwon school for creative arts, Jinwoo’s first impressions of his new instructor are encouraging. He finds that Sanha is polite, well-spoken and easy going. Being of medium height himself, Jinwoo guesses Sanha’s height to be slightly over six feet and took note of his striking lilac coloured hair, round dark expressive eyes and easy smile. With a chuckle, he says to himself, ‘he will have all the students falling for him in no time.’

As he unpacks, Sanha in turn, reflects upon his new employer. Unlike his last manager, who was cold, terse and shrill; Jinwoo has a calm yet deep tone of voice, friendly demeanor and carries himself with an air of true gentleman.

Sanha is pleased that not only was Jinwoo welcoming and agreeable, he was only a few years older than his own twenty-three years. Judging from the phone interview, he thought Jinwoo was at least ten years older. This both pleases and assures him that he has made a good choice in schools, and that J&E Academy would likely be more open to modern music and teaching methods – unlike his last teaching post.

After a quick refreshing shower and a change into fresh clothes, Sanha is seated before a light dinner of steaming white rice with several banchan style side dishes. They began an easy conversation to get to know more about each other. Sanha begins the conversation by talking about his upbringing in the coastal town of Yangyang-gun and his studies in music in Boston and then about his family and sister Jaeha (who studying now in America). He also comments that he had pretty much been living on his own since beginning University and was glad to be back in Seoul after being away for the past five years.

Jinwoo talked about the Academy and how he and his lifelong friend Eunwoo founded the school, its scholarship program for disadvantaged students and their dedication to helping students who aspire to get into the best universities. He goes on to describe the Academy’s neighborhood, the best places to eat and places to shop. But as Jinwoo begins to talk about their plans to find an apartment for Sanha the next day, he notices Sanha’s eyes beginning to grow sleepy.

“Sanha, why don’t you head off to bed and we can finish our conversation in the morning?” Gratefully, Sanha offers to help clean up, but Jinwoo with a smile, firmly declines. “Tomorrow, I promise to wake you at nine a.m. for breakfast. Then, if you like, we can start out and find you an apartment so you can be settled into your new place before the school session begins.” 

Stifling a yawn, Sanha rises from the table, and with a warm smile and gentle bow of his head, says, “Good night Jinwoo and thank you again for your gracious welcome and hospitality.” Later, stretching out on the bed, thinks about the day and smiles at his good fortune. Envisioning a happy future ahead of him, he turns onto his side, closes his eyes and falls into an easy sleep.

**~~**

Keeping his word, at nine a.m. Jinwoo knocks on Sanha’s door with a tentative “Good morning, are you up?” To his surprise, Sanha opens the door fully dressed and eager to start the day. Grinning, Jinwoo tells him breakfast will be ready in two minutes and moves toward the kitchen to lay toast, jam, butter and juice on the table and uncovers a platter of fried eggs. 

As Sanha sits down and pours himself a cup of coffee, Jinwoo begins the morning conversation with a wide smile, saying he has some potentially good news for Sanha. “Late last night, I had a text from one of our newer teachers, Kim Myungjun. He said that if you haven’t found a place yet, he would like to offer to share his apartment with you.”

Surprised but interested, Sanha asks, “Really? Sounds great, but... before I confirm anything, tell me a bit about Myungjun - what kind of person is he, what does he teach? Is he young or is he a senior teacher?”

With a pleasant laugh, Jinwoo holds up a hand to slow Sanha’s questioning. “You should find out for yourself. So, if you agree, I can ask him to join us for coffee at the Star café near our school in an hour. Does that sound good to you?”

Sanha eagerly agrees and quickly finishes up his breakfast, while Jinwoo sends a text response to Myungjun.

An hour later, Sanha and Jinwoo walk into the Star Café. The brass bell over the door ringing loudly as they step up to the counter and place their order with the barista for a hot chocolate and latte. Finding a comfortable table near the back window, they wait for Myungjun and their drinks to arrive while enjoying the view from the window of the busy, but colourful, street and the scent of roasted coffee. In a few short minutes, the brass bell chimes again and Jinwoo sees Myungjun enter the café.

Myungjun is comfortably dressed in black jeans with a slightly oversized sweater with _The Power of Dreams_ written in blue across the chest. He is of medium height, blue-black hair and dark brilliant eyes. Flashing a wide, radiant smile and looking decidedly younger than his twenty-six years, he politely greets Jinwoo and turns to Sanha with a grin, “Hello Sanha, I’m so pleased to meet you!” 

Sanha immediately rises, gives a polite bow and with a chuckle shakes his hand. “Happy to meet you as well.” He sits down again and glances over at Jinwoo and immediately notices how Jinwoo’s face has begun to redden, lowering his face to look down at his hands – as if he suddenly does not know where to look. 

Jinwoo then, recollecting himself, greets Myungjun with a polite “Good morning,” and quickly rising from his seat, hesitantly asks Myungjun if he would like anything to drink.

Looking at Jinwoo, Myungjun replies with hesitation, “I would love a mocha, um... thanks.” He has never been to a café with his Director and is not sure if he should pay for his own drink or not. So, with a slight pause, he reaches for his wallet to pay for his drink.

Jinwoo, with quick understanding says, “Don’t worry, it’s my plea – uh, treat,” and quickly turns and rushes over to the front counter to add the mocha to his order.

Sanha turns to Myungjun and asks him about the apartment, to which Myungjun answers with enthusiasm, telling him about the place, rent and location. They then fall into a more general discussion about the school, its music program and in particular, the schedules for vocal training and singing. Pleased with his easy-going personality, ready laugh and after discovering that they both share a love of Kpop and American musicals, Sanha knows they will get along well. However, he is still understandably curious about the apartment and the second bedroom layout – if he was going to take Myungjun’s offer to share.

Jinwoo had quietly returned during their conversation and after placing the beverages on the table, leaned back in his chair to let the two talk. Purposefully not joining into the conversation, and in doing so, allowed him time to observe and get to know them both a bit better. Jinwoo had hired Myungjun to teach vocals, composition and piano at the beginning of the Academy’s school year to fill the teachers positions in the rapidly growing and popular school. But it soon became apparent that an additional teacher was needed, judging by the relentless requests by parents for private lessons and with over two dozen new students on waiting lists for classes, thus he had hired Sanha mid-year to teach composition, vocal training and guitar. 

Jinwoo is brought suddenly into the conversation when Myungjun turning to him asks, “Would you and Sanha like to come by now to see my apartment?” Jinwoo glanced over at Sanha and seeing him excitedly nodding his head, immediately agrees to go. 

Putting on their jackets, they exit the warm cafe and after walking down the chilly streets for about 15 minutes, when they soon come to a pleasant two-story apartment building with an enclosed garden and secure gate. Myungjun escorts them up to his second-floor apartment, welcoming them into his home. They are both immediately impressed with the apartment with its wide living room and cozy dining/kitchen area. Sanha, with a growing smile, happily observes the framed movie posters on the walls, and the wide front bay window. Next to it was a blooming _churihyang plant that is the source of the faint, pleasant vanilla scent in the room. Sanha c_ ompliments Myungjun on the apartment, to which he responds with an impish grin as he theatrically, with a grand flourish of his hand, bids them to make themselves at home.

While Sanha and Myungjun are taking in the view from the bay window overlooking the flower garden on the ground floor, Jinwoo walks about the living room examining the posters on the walls recognizing movies such as _Singing in the Rain_ , _My Paparotti_ , and _Hamilton_. He is suddenly taken aback when he sees a large French poster displaying vibrant colours of deep blue and red, depicting a couple under an umbrella. Mesmerized, he stands motionless in front of the poster, knowing most people have never heard of this 1964 classic French musical. It is one of his all-time favorite films with its melancholy theme of young love lost and sung entirely in French. Myungjun looks at Jinwoo and realizes that he knows this now obscure movie. With his expressive dark eyes focused on Jinwoo, he says in perfect French, “Les Parapluies de Cherbourg” and gives him a sincere, warm-hearted smile.

Jinwoo stiffens and his mouth drops open as he stares at Myungjun, immediately experiencing a sudden overwhelming internal shock. He abruptly turns his head to hide his rising confusion and without a pause, rushes towards the kitchen murmuring that he needs a glass of water. Myungjun, cut off in mid smile, gives Sanha a questioning look. Sanha shrugs his shoulders and with a brief glance toward the kitchen, changes the subject by asking impatiently if he can see the bedroom that might be his before long. As they head to the back rooms, Myungjun calls over his shoulder to Jinwoo saying they will be back in a few minutes.

Numbly standing in front of the sink, Jinwoo stares at the wall trying to focus, not understanding what had come over him. The ballad ‘ _I Will Wait for You’_ from _Umbrellas of Cherbourg,_ that used to leave him inexplicably in tears when he was younger, had suddenly came flooding back into his head - and a deep, dark sadness washes over him like an ocean wave. He is suddenly unsteady, the ballad is internally assaulting his mind, heart aching and head suddenly pounding in pain, he finds that he needs to hold on to the kitchen counter to keep from falling. Jinwoo struggles to compose himself and turns the water tap on full force attempting to drown the words that were relentlessly echoing in his head. 

[‘ _If it takes forever, I will wait for you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOoqlhGXSt4)

_[For a thousand summers, I will wait for you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOoqlhGXSt4) _

_[Till you're back beside me, till I'm touching you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOoqlhGXSt4) _

_[And forevermore, sharing your love’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOoqlhGXSt4) _

****

Pulling a glass from the cupboard, with shaking hands, fills it and drinks the cold water in large gulps to help steady his nerves. In the distant background, he hears Sanha laugh as their voices are getting closer. 

“I’ll take it!” Sanha is saying happily, giving Myungjun a warm smile. 

He immediately responds with a grin, “Great, this will save us both money and we can work together regarding our students and classes.” As Myungjun turns to see Jinwoo’s response to this happy outcome, he stops suddenly, alarmed to see his ashen face and shaking hands. “Jinwoo, are you okay?” 

Jinwoo, seeing the genuine concern and worry in Myungjun’s eyes, turns to focus on Sanha and responds unsteadily. “No, not really... I, I suddenly came down with a migraine. I need to go home.”

Myungjun turns to Sanha and asks him to get a chair so Jinwoo can sit down. Grabbing a kitchen towel, he wets it and tries to apply it to Jinwoo’s forehead. Jinwoo however, pushes his hand away saying curtly, “Please, j-just call a taxi.” With a slight frown, Myungjun pulls out his phone and with a look of unease calls for a taxi.

By the time Jinwoo can think clearly again, he is back in his own apartment and finally calming down – the song that was battering his heart and head, is mercifully beginning to fade. Sanha gently guides him to the couch, placing pillows behind his back and head, entreating him not to move. He dashes away and finds the pain-relieving medicine he had seen earlier in the bathroom cabinet. Jinwoo sits up to take the aspirin, and sighing, lays down again against the sofa’s cushions and closes his eyes. 

Having had occasional migraines himself, Sanha knows exactly what to do and gently places a cool damp towel on Jinwoo’s forehead and quietly closes the long drapes in the front room, plunging the room into semi darkness. He gently says to Jinwoo that he will be in his room with the door ajar and to call out if he needs anything. Jinwoo, despite his dazed and exhausted state, tries to understand what had happened. After several minutes of attempting to make sense of his distress and not finding an answer, he grows weary and snuggling deeper into the soft blanket that Sanha has draped over him, finally drifts off to sleep. Soon, all is peaceful again.

Jinwoo wakes up a few hours later to the sound of a cupboard softly opening and closing in the kitchen. He slowly rises from the couch - headache free - and notices the delicious scent of food cooking. Walking into the kitchen he finds Sanha stirring a pot of rice and sautéing chicken with a few green vegetables. Smiling at Jinwoo, he asks “Feeling better? I thought an early dinner would not be amiss - I hope you are hungry.” 

Leaning against the door frame, Jinwoo with a wan smile, responds with a single word “Famished.” He then steps forward and picking up the plates sitting on the counter, begins to set the table.


	2. Mystery that is Eunwoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Sanha had one glaring fault - it was that his emotions were always easy to read. Judging by his fellow teacher’s sudden silence, he realized that his face had given him away again, so with a deep breath he candidly asked, “What’s with Eunwoo’s attitude anyway?”

It has been a week since Sanha had moved into Myungjun’s apartment and the first day of the academy’s spring session. The regular Monday morning meeting for the teachers and staff to discuss important issues, schedule changes for that week, is about to begin. One of the items on the agenda today is Jinwoo’s introduction of Sanha to his fellow teachers. So, with a brief overview as to what Sanha will be teaching, he quickly concludes the meeting so Sanha can personally meet the teachers and staff. 

Eunwoo, J&E Academy’s co-owner and art teacher, was doodling in the corners of his notebook during Jinwoo’s introductions and looking up, he observes Sanha with a portrait artist’s eye - critically examining his features. Observing his smooth skin and fair colouring, large round chestnut brown eyes, expressive eyebrows, full delicately curved mouth and straight (almost aristocratic) nose; he begins to think that the new teacher might be a good subject for an oil painting and envisions him as a tall, slender 18th century aristocrat in the English style. He muses to himself - ‘Perhaps something in the style of Thomas Lawrence or Romney – perhaps even Singer Sargent?’ However, on further examination, he sees Sanha’s silver earring cuffs, neck chains and the bright lilac hair colour, and is instantly is put off. He never liked purple hair and the ear jewelry is way over the top for his taste, so he promptly dismisses the thought of using him as a potential model for a portrait. Unlike the friendlier welcome he gave to Myungjun, whom he has already asked to pose for a portrait back in August, he merely nods a brief welcome to the newest music and vocals teacher.

Moon Bin, unlike his brother Eunwoo, quickly rises to shake Sanha’s hand and beams a warm smile of welcome. Pleased that Sanha is even a bit taller than his own 6 feet, he is anxious to see if he can dance as well as sing; his own dance specialties include jazz, hip hop, and modern. He quickly invites Sanha to an impromptu welcome dinner to get to know him better. He nods towards his fellow dance instructor, Minhyuk, who was standing beside him that he would be joining them as well.

Minhyuk taking his cue from Bin, and seconds the offer for dinner and welcomes him into their ranks with a handshake, and flashes an infectious grin, “I heard from Myungjun that we share a love of Kpop music and dance.”

Sanha face lights up and immediately says that he follows all the debuts and comebacks, adding, “I especially like to do dance covers to keep in shape. Is that something you do?” 

Minhyuk grins broadly and nods his head saying, “Bin’s cover of Sunmi’s ‘ _24 hours’_ has been the talk of the University circuit since our school concert performance last year.” 

“Hey, I did get over 100k views on YouTube!” Bin responds in his defense and gives Minhyuk a push on the shoulder, smirking like a Cheshire cat-like. Minhyuk simply rolls his eyes and laughs.

After the last few introductions to various staff members, Sanha quietly takes a seat and takes a minute to observe his fellow teachers as they chat and review their new semester schedules. Having met them now, it is easy for him to see that both Bin and Minhyuk have the natural grace and form of dance professionals. Bin has a more powerful figure, broad shouldered and with dark brown eyes and a quick smile - looking at once both alert and easy going. Minhyuk, only a few centimeters shorter than Bin had a slim muscular build, flashing dark eyes, black hair with dramatic emerald green highlights and an infectious grin. If what Myungjun said is true, he is an incredibly talented rapper as well as a Master of Dance, teaching ballet, jazz and modern. Overall, judging by their warm welcome, Sanha feels they would all become good friends soon.

Eunwoo however, had a different dynamic altogether. Sanha had already observed that he was incredibly good looking with smooth even features, honey coloured brown eyes and carefully cut and styled dark brown hair. He is slightly taller and slimmer than his brother Bin and appeared to be older - but perhaps only by a year or so. But the resemblance between the two ended there. Eunwoo had a decidedly reserved attitude, soft spoken and more prone to frown than smile. According to Myungjun, he is well-educated having graduated from a distinguished Art University in Seoul and studied Art at the distinguished University of California at Berkeley in the US for a year; but rarely socialized with the other teachers at the academy. Sanha was strangely curious about him and made a mental note to ask Myungjun more about him. His first impression was not good, but Sanha remained optimistic that this would improve over time.

The school bell rang, wrenching Sanha out of his musings, and catching Myungjun’s attention they exited the teacher’s lounge together and walked to their respective classrooms to begin their first day of classes.

At the end of the day Sanha was able to finally relax in the teacher’s lounge and think about the events and challenges he had encountered during the day. Everything had gone quite well, the students were fun, inquisitive and respectful. Several students were naturally talented in both singing and in reading music, so it was gratifying to find that they excelled in class on the first day. Even so, Sanha was one of those teachers who takes greater satisfaction in seeing the progress of an average student evolving into a talented one over the course of his classes.

Smiling to himself, he sprawled on the couch and propping his feet on an obliging chair, placed an open notebook over his face and closed his eyes. Just as his body began to completely relax, he is roused by a hard nudge against his leg. Peering under the notebook he sees Eunwoo looking down at him with a slightly irritated stare. “Feet off the desk chair please.”

“Uh, sorry – but I did put my backpack under my feet, so no harm, no foul,” Sanha replied good naturedly.

Eunwoo responds with obvious annoyance. “This is the only wheeled desk chair here and I need to use it for the office computer desk. I have to edit and print out tomorrow’s schedule.”

“Oh, sorry,” Sanha slowly removes his feet and sits up on the couch. He grabs his backpack off the chair and looks up at Eunwoo with an apologetic smile. 

Eunwoo however, paused and looks curiously at Sanha – staring down at him a bit more intensely. Curiosity gets the better of him and he bent forward to closer look at Sanha’s face and abruptly asks, “You seem familiar somehow. Have we met someplace before?” 

Sanha smirks, a bit amused at this cheap version of a pickup line. Eunwoo realizing what he just said, steps backward and begins to turn red. With irritation in his voice, he immediately says in an almost accusatory tone, “No, honestly – you MUST be someone I met before.”

Sanha responds curtly, tiring of Eunwoo’s snappish attitude. “Well, unless you frequent the Yangyang-gun beaches or studied in Boston in the U.S., it is frankly, _very_ unlikely.” He glares at him and checking his watch - and without another word, immediately stands up and walks deliberately out the door.

Eunwoo, not quite grasping what had just happened, frowns as Sanha exits the lounge and says half aloud to himself, “What’s his problem?”

~~

Eunwoo, after helping Jinwoo lock up the Academy doors and with a quick goodbye, stepped into his grey Audi sedan and drove home. Parking his car, he walked up to his modern hanok inspired house located in an affluent neighborhood of Seoul. Upon entering, he slips off his shoes and places his keys in an ornate enameled brass bowl on a side table. Strolling into his modern kitchen, he makes a small pot of his favorite blend of bergamot infused Earl Grey Tea. Pouring himself a generous cup, he carries it into his studio in the back of the house and sits down at his easel to work on his latest portrait commission of a gray-haired affluent CEO. Picking up a paintbrush, he positions himself in front of the canvas and does… nothing. 

He is lost in thought, repeatedly replaying his conversation with Sanha in his head. Eunwoo always had an extraordinary memory for faces, and something about Sanha’s struck a chord with him. Hopelessly, he tries his best to remember a place or instance where he may have met or seen Sanha before today, but he honestly cannot remember where it may have been and judging by Sanha’s earlier response, it was unlikely they had ever met. 

He is shaken out of his thoughts when he hears a dog bark in the distance and realizing he has just spent close to an hour doing nothing to complete his commission, stands up and takes his now cold cup of tea and returns to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. Later after dinner, he pours himself a glass of wine and turns on his stereo system and queues a CD to hear his favorite Rachmaninoff piece, the [Rhapsody – 18th Variation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGiFVbEWC40). Sitting in his most comfortable living room chair, he lets the music overwhelm his senses, leaving him in a quiet meditative state - preparing him for a tranquil and peaceful sleep.

But sleep does not come. Tonight, he only tosses and turns in bed as he fitfully dreams, his mind never relaxing, hammering his brain with vague images and sounds. His dream/nightmare fills him with fear and mounting desperation as he envisions an unknown dimensional shadow silently flitting about him as he shivers from cold; he tries to grasp its warmth only to see it flows away into nothingness. Over and over in increasing despair he tries again and again, but the apparition is both elusive and distressing. Above and around him he hears a distant voice singing, the sound haunting and plaintive, but he can see no one in his dream, nothing but the purplish shadow and darkness.

Eunwoo, wakes up to the sound of his own voice calling out. Exhausted and with tears in his eyes, he turns the bed light on, sits up and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands. “What is happening, why am I crying?” He rarely dreams and this kind of nightmare has never occurred before in his entire life. 

Gradually he regains his composure and gets out of bed. Walking into the bathroom, he stares into the mirror and sees himself with a pale face and a haunted look in his eyes. He grimaces as he washes his face and neck with cold water and returns to his bed exhausted, but now fully awake. He tries to recall the dream; he finds that his memory of it is slowly fading away. A few hours later, as dawn begins to break, he finally falls into an uncomfortable and exhausted sleep.

When his alarm clock rings signaling a new day, he forces his heavy eyes open and after uttering a few mild expletives, gets out of bed and reluctantly begins his morning routine. Following a shower, shave and coffee, he feels more himself despite the dark circles under his eyes and a weary body. As he drives to the academy, he attempts again to recall any details of his dream – but except for a vague empty feeling in his heart, finds that most of the dream has already become a dim memory.

~

Eunwoo would have been astonished to know that he was one of the topics of discussion at last night’s welcome dinner for Sanha. They had decided to dine at one of the better local Italian restaurants when it was discovered that Pizza was one of Sanha’s favorite dishes. Moon Bin chose the restaurant, ‘Maria’s Trattoria’, which they all knew well due to its location was only two miles from the Academy. After being seated in a remote corner of the restaurant, the teachers examined the menu, and after engaging in an animated discussion on whether squid really belongs on a pizza, they finally place their orders. 

While waiting for their food, they enter into a lively discussion as to the best KPOP groups, favorite KDramas (Joseon vs modern era) and best place for marinated chicken. The teachers update Sanha on their various personal projects and ambitions; Minhyuk and Bin have been working on various choreographies for two different KPOP production studios; Myungjun had been asked to audition for an upcoming musical – but he had to turn it down as it would interfere with the school year, but then had been asked to be a consultant - a task which he readily agreed to. 

Sanha was pleased to learn that the Academy’s directors were willing for their teachers to pursue outside opportunities if the work did not interfere with their teaching responsibilities. Sanha told them he wanted to compose music and perhaps personally perform at a Summer festival during the coming school break. Bin advised that any outside work or teacher’s entering a competition should be cleared with Jinwoo or Eunwoo, as it may reflect on the academy’s reputation.

Upon hearing Eunwoo’s name, Sanha’s eyebrows came together tightly and his face showed frustration. If Sanha had one glaring fault - it was that his emotions were always easy to read. Judging by his fellow teacher’s sudden silence, he realized that his face had given him away again, so with a deep breath he candidly asked, “What’s with Eunwoo’s attitude anyway?”

Both Myungjun and Minhyuk turned to look at Bin for an answer, as they were curious too. Bin thought looked down at his drink for a moment and taking a deep breath, replied with a slight frown. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. My brother has always been reserved, but lately in the past few years he had grown more closed off and unapproachable.” Shrugging his shoulders, he continued. “He wasn’t always hard to get along with in the past. I thought perhaps he had a bad relationship while studying in California, but I don’t really can’t be sure because I was here in Korea attending University.”

Myungjun, always curious, asked if he had any relationships prior to leaving for the U.S. that may have been the reason for his standoffish attitude. Bin shook his head, “Not to my knowledge. As to personal relationships, as best as I can recall Eunwoo had always avoided romantic involvements.”

“What? Is that true - not with... anyone?” Minhyuk asked with a slight shake of his head.

Without blinking Bin responded, “Again, none to my knowledge. As you probably guess, with his looks my brother has had plenty of offers from both ends of the spectrum, but he shuts everyone out. The odd thing is, he is not naturally cold – like most artists he has many loves; love of nature, beauty, art and music,” Bin smiled, “a true romantic at heart.”

After an awkward pause, Myungjun perked up and said, “I’m a romantic too!”

Minhyuk grinned, “By saying that, does it mean that you are free and looking for romance right now?”

“I mean to say that I have _always_ been looking for romance, but so far no true love yet. But I know the right one is out there waiting for me.” He then flashes a brilliant smile and exaggeratedly winks his eye, “Why, do you know of anyone?” Everyone laughs as Minhyuk chokes on his drink and quickly shakes his head. However, before they could talk any further, they are then interrupted as the waitress arrives with dinner and the conversation moves away from personal topics to the general enjoyment of the meal.

Later, in the quiet of his apartment, Sanha was thinking about the earlier dinner conversation and the comments about Eunwoo and felt that there was _definitely_ a mystery there. Turning to Myungjun, who is seated on the couch checking his cell phone, asked, “What are your thoughts about Eunwoo’s supposed ‘disappointment?’ Could something bad have happened that could change him so much that he became stiff and bitter to everyone. Even to the extent that he purposefully avoids any romance in his life?”

Myungjun thought for a minute and mused, “Well, if the relationship was toxic, or worse still, tragic; I can see that one could close their heart – but we don’t know any real details.” Myungjun then paused and with a small thoughtful smile continued, “But speaking for myself, as a romantic, I would think that finding love would make one want to go out and fall in love again – especially if any past relationships were good and any breakups were amicable.”

Sanha nods in agreement. Although he himself had been a couple of brief relationships, he had not had serious connection with anyone yet. But he is confident that love _will_ come in time. Thinking of Eunwoo icy attitude, he silently promises himself to never close his heart and affections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave any comments - this is my first fanfic and I would like to know what you think of it. BTW the link to Moon Bin's 24 Hours cover is here. Once seen, never forgotten.  
> Thanks, and STAN ASTRO!


	3. Shadow of Your Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panicking, Eunwoo reaches out for some sort of support and with a fearful pleading look at Sanha, quietly crumbles to the floor and loses consciousness.

Over the next few weeks, Sanha has settled into his new routine at school, enjoying both the progress his students were making and his growing friendships with his fellow teachers. With Minhyuk and Bin’s encouragement, he had begun dancing again – something he has not done since his early college days. It helps to keep him fit and it was genuinely fun to do covers of several of the KPOP idol choreographies with them. 

However, it was his new song, ‘Soul’s shadow” composed with Myungjun’s collaboration that had him most happy. They both had singing parts and when they performed the piece before Jinwoo, it was surprising to see Jinwoo’s eyes tear up with emotion upon hearing the ballad. Sanha and Myungjun were planning to introduce the song at the upcoming Summer Festival in Incheon. But after approaching Jinwoo for permission to perform, Jinwoo asked if they would be willing to debut the song during the school’s July performance concert. The Summer Academy year-end concert was the time the students would present their final works to teachers, parents and potential professional sponsors. The teachers could also perform if they wished, as it was good for them to showcase their skills to help promote the school. Minhyuk and Bin had already committed to performing a classic Jazz dance routine during this concert. Myungjun and Sanha were delighted with Jinwoo’s request and readily agreed to perform as well.

~~

Unlike Sanha, Eunwoo’s semester had not been going as well, while his art classes and students were thriving, their teacher was not. The nightmares he experienced on the first day of classes had continued to haunt his dreams and disturb his sleep. The nightmares did not occur daily thankfully; but Eunwoo knew that at least once a week if not more often, the dreams would inevitably come to rob him of sleep, appetite and peace of mind. He tried changing up his daily routine, meditation and diet changes, and finally therapy, but after a few weeks, nothing had changed – the nightmares continued. His current state of sleeplessness and stress sometimes made him difficult to deal with at the Academy as it expressed itself in anxiety, moodiness and sometimes anger. Although he would immediately express regret if he were too sharp or curt to any of the students or staff. Over time, the constant struggle was wearing him thin and exhausted, slowly taking a toll on his health.

Nevertheless, despite this ongoing stress, his relations with his new fellow teachers had slowly improved as he got to know both Myungjun and Sanha a little better. This was mainly due to the fact that Myungjun was now posing weekly for Eunwoo for his portrait, often accompanied by Sanha, after classes were over for the day. 

Eunwoo had decided to paint Myungjun’s portrait in the style of the famed British portraitist, Thomas Lawrence, and had him posed formally seated in a navy blue velvet armchair that he kept in the school’s painting studio. He is dressed in a [sky-blue striped dress shirt](https://entertain.naver.com/now/read?oid=057&aid=0001449147) opened at the neck and black suit jacket, with his raven black hair framing one side of his face, with a few strands falling over his forehead almost into his eyes, appearing both striking and handsome at the same time. His dark eyes are looking intently at the viewer, while his mouth is formed into a gentle smile, discernable only by the slight curve at the corners of his mouth. In one hand, he is holding a small Asian netsuke of a duck carved in antique ivory, from Eunwoo’s personal netsuke collection. The other hand is posed against his chin and cheek, with his elbow resting on the arm of the chair.

Sanha loved sitting and watching the painting as it progressed marveling at Eunwoo’s sure and elegant strokes of the paintbrush, as it came to life a wonderful, stylized portrait of his friend. The teachers would at times would converse during this time, with Eunwoo and Sanha doing most of the talking as Myungjun was rarely allowed to speak as it would change his expression and it would instantly exasperate Eunwoo.

Between them, conversation would vary on different subjects including music, movies and sometimes about travel. On one occasion, their conversation centered around their mutual experiences in the U.S. Eunwoo would speak of U.C. Berkeley with a reminiscent fondness, describing the warm snowless winters, the beautiful views of the bay at sunset, the local parks and flowering gardens. Specifically recalling Berkeley’s tiered Rose Garden and in the nearby hills scenic Tilden Park. Sanha would then in turn, describe the places he would visit while he was attending Berklee College of Music, such as the beautiful tree lined streets of Constitution Avenue, the picturesque walks in Boston Common and outdoor movie nights at the Frog Pond. Another conversation centered on the college town cafes, with Eunwoo praising Peet’s coffee and the colorful Asian restaurants that lined Telegraph Avenue. Sanha then countering with the wonderful fresh seafood markets and the wide variety of international restaurants that lined Newbury Street. 

Naturally, these conversations about food simply made Myungjun hungry. Thus, in early June when the painting was nearing completion, and after an animated conversation about American’s love of beef steaks, the three agreed to have dinner together after a modeling session. As a rule, Eunwoo would generally have dinner alone at home, or on occasion, with Jinwoo or Bin. When Myungjun pleaded with Eunwoo to relax and dine with them after a posing session– _just this once_ because he had never been to an American western style steakhouse, he gave in – thinking this would be a nice way to thank him for posing for his painting. Having made a reservation at one of the few places in Seoul that served western style steak, the trio arrived in good time to be seated at a comfortable table with a window view. 

Myungjun, after staring in confusion at the cowboy western style décor on the walls, asked Eunwoo “Are all steakhouses in America adorned with cow skulls, horseshoes and wagon wheels like this one?” 

With a chuckle, Sanha replied, “No, steak is served in most American restaurants, so the décor would differ greatly from place to place. This place is designed for a cowboy theme – which, as I look around, seems rather silly.”

“The price of steak also varies from place to place, from $10 to $100. But it generally comes down to the quality, cut and talent of the chef that determines the price.” Eunwoo sensibly adds.

Myungjun, nodded then asked another question. “But I’ve heard that our premium beef is of better quality and not so fatty as American beef.” 

“True, but at twice or even three times the price,” Eunwoo added wistfully, “and the cuts are huge.” Sounding as if he was willing to fly back to America for dinner. Myungjun and Sanha exchange bemused glances at hearing Eunwoo - of all people - talking sentimentally about food.

After the waitress left with their order, Sanha with genuine curiosity asked Eunwoo how he had decided to become an artist. Eunwoo, with one of his rare smiles answered, “There was never a moment that I thought of being anything else. As a kid I was always sketching and drawing. The books I picked up at the school library were always art books, or biographies of famous artists. Then in middle school, I won an art competition and my art teacher told me that I had a rare talent and not to waste it. So, from that point on I was determined it would be my profession.” 

Sanha, not quite satisfied with this answer, rephrased the question. “But was it a love of design, colours, imagery, or was it because you had developed the skill to reproduce whatever you saw on paper?”

“I really can’t say, it’s all those things and more. As I said before, I always felt I was an artist since I was very little.”

He paused looking at both Sanha and Myungjun and countered with his own question, “So what brought you to Music? He then added sarcastically with a look directed at Sanha, “Was it something you learned to love by mastering Guitar Hero and learning to read music,” and then looking at Myungjun “or singing Karaoke and practicing your scales?”

Laughing, Myungjun threw up his hands in surrender, “Touché, monsieur!” And grabbing his heart, fell sideways against Sanha.

Grinning, Sanha immediately pictured Myungjun as a wounded cavalier and Eunwoo as a savage swordsman, wearing a curly mustache, pointing a sword at Myungjun. He then began to giggle, as his imagination ran away with him, which quickly grew into a full fit of hysterical laughter. Myungjun was now laughing noisily along with Sanha, causing the diners at nearby table to stare.

Eunwoo, looked curiously at Sanha, wondering what would have brought him to a near state of tears with laughing. When Sanha finally regained composure and caught his breath, he apologized, “Oh, oh… I’m so sorry,” his cheeks turning red and wiping his tears, “but that struck me as enormously funny.”

Eunwoo, glancing at Myungjun, who was also trying to catch his breath from laughing, he turned and looked at Sanha’s flushed face, said, “Has anyone ever told you that you have an infectious laugh?”

Still trying to recover from his laughing fit, Sanha replied impulsively, “Not really, but…, but my mother used to tell me when I was younger that, that - I laughed like a _girl_!” He then struggled to stifle another laugh which, ironically enough, turned into a high-pitched giggle. This now forced Myungjun into a new bout of hysterics, pounding his hand on the table and slapping Sanha’s arm. Eunwoo put his hand on his forehead and looking down at his hands, began coughing in a futile attempt to hide his own laughter.

Later that evening at home, seated on his couch with a warm blanked over his knee, Myungjun turned away from the television and asked Sanha if he thought that Eunwoo was still as aloof as he was at the beginning of the school semester. “He was almost human tonight, smiling and laughing, heck – he even paid for our dinner!”

Sanha looked up with a thoughtful smile. “I’m not sure, today he was friendly, but who knows what he will be like tomorrow? I do know that we all had a good time at dinner today – so perhaps things are improving.” After a minute, Sanha continued in a thoughtful tone, “Speaking of Eunwoo, did you notice the rings under his eyes? He also seemed to be a bit on edge over the last few weeks. I’m not sure what might be going on, but I’m glad we were able to enjoy our dinner tonight.”

Myungjun paused to think about Sanha’s question and shrugged his shoulders. “I think he is able to take care of himself, after all he owns half of our very successful school, and has looks, money and a career – what could he be worried about?” Sanha could only nod in agreement, but he felt sure there was something troubling Eunwoo.

However, despite having a relaxing and pleasant dinner, Eunwoo had a renewed bout of nightmares. Almost as soon as he fell asleep - despite a glass of wine and his soothing music - he was unable to get any rest. The nightmarish shadows and sounds tormented him yet again and coupled with the tears and heart splitting grief he felt upon waking up – he was mentally and physically exhausted. Several hours later at dawn, he finally fell into a fitful sleep and waking to his alarm with less than two hours rest.

Unfortunately, the nightmare that night was just the first of many for the week, continuing every night for days, leaving Eunwoo both shattered and drained.

**~ ~ ~ ~**

Two weeks before the Academy concert, in preparation for their upcoming Academy year-end concert, both Myungjun and Sanha thought it would be fun to change up their look. Moon Bin gave them the name of a salon frequented by Kpop idols so they could get the “idol look” for their song’s debut. During their visit to the salon, Myungjun had his hair dyed a rich Buttery Blond while Sanha went with a deep Raven Black hair colour with deep purple highlights along with a softer, center part hairstyle. To brighten up his look, Sanha also planned to change up his eye color with a new pair of emerald green contact lenses. 

When they walked into the teacher’s lounge the next morning, both the teachers and staff were surprised and delighted with their new Idol look. Myungjun, grinning and showing off his deep green tailored jacket struck several model-like poses, thoroughly enjoying the compliments and smiles. Sanha was not an attention seeker, but still appreciated the praise of his fellow teachers and staff, showing off his dark purple tailored jacket, dark hair and his new sparkling green eyes. When the staff noisily requested an impromptu performance before classes began, Sanha and Myungjun were happy to comply. Sanha brought in his guitar and sitting down with Myungjun on the office chairs, began to play their new song “Soul’s Shadow.”

Everyone stood quietly as the music began, crowding the doorways in the small teacher’s lounge. They were mesmerized, the song was haunting and plaintive – the vocal harmony of the chorus sorrowfully repeating words of longing. Eunwoo quietly entered the room as the song began and standing in the back of the room at first was not sure who was performing. Edging closer into the room to observe, he could finally see Myungjun and Sanha playing, appearing quite unusual in their new attire. However, it was their faces that sent a chill down his back – they looked entirely changed, yet oddly familiar – giving him a dizzying sense of deja vu.

The room was still and quiet but for the soft guitar and their clear melodious voices, joining together in rich tones of wistful yearning that began to unnerve him internally. As Sanha repeated the chorus, Eunwoo remained there – mesmerized and pale – the words struck him like an echoing electric assault, robbing him of conscious thought. 

**_“_ ** **_Since our parting, the shadow of your soul_ **

**_Remains in my every thought and makes me whole,_ **

**_Thus, anywhere you wander, anywhere you go_ **

**_Every day, you will remember how I loved you so”_ **

As the last chords are played, Eunwoo, in a trance-like state, walks through the crowd and directly up to Sanha, who looks up at him with his new brilliant green eyes and smiles. Sanha is about to ask him how he liked the song, when Eunwoo, all colour draining from his face, begins trembling - not just his hands but his legs as well. Panicking, he reaches out for some sort of support and with a fearful pleading look at Sanha, quietly crumbles to the floor and loses consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! All comments and kudos greatly appreciated!


	4. Green Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking about him, Sanha notices that scattered about the floor are discarded sheets of paper with rough sketches of various women’s eyes, lips and profiles – all of which are either torn in half or lay crumpled on the floor.

The staff and teachers, who were happily applauding the performance, suddenly exclaim and cry out in gasps and sounds of dismay. Sanha quickly hands his guitar to Myungjun and bent down, lifting Eunwoo, who was lying motionless on the floor. He carried him to the quickly vacated couch and gently laid him down; pausing only to remove his new jacket and drapes it over Eunwoo’s body for warmth. Jinwoo, with fear in his eyes, knelt down at his side and with a momentary moment of dread, checked his pulse. With a look of relief and reassurance he quickly glances at Bin and nods his head. Bin, with shaky hands, immediately pulls his phone from his pocket and calls for an ambulance. 

The academy desk receptionist, Minji, quickly hands Sanha a dampened cloth with which he uses to wipe Eunwoo’s brow and pallid face. Attentively he rubs Eunwoo’s cold hands to increase his circulation and provide warmth. Bin, seeing that his brother is in good hands, clears everyone from the room and walks to the front of the school to meet and escort the medical team inside.

Eunwoo is hurriedly laid on the gurney and is taken inside the ambulance. Bin climbs in, holds his hand and with tears welling up in his eyes, nods a farewell to Jinwoo. The doors close and as the ambulance departs, Jinwoo turns back to the school wiping his tears to hide his anxiety. He enters his office and sits down, swiftly setting his mind to the task of rescheduling the day’s classes to minimize any disruption resulting from two of his teachers suddenly becoming unavailable. He also wants to clear his own calendar so he can travel to the hospital without any unnecessary delay.

Fortunately, it is a Friday and classes are light, most of the students are in rehearsals or studios preparing for the Academy’s open house and concert to be held in two weeks. Working with Sanha and Minhyuk, he arranges that they, along with the teacher’s aides, will take Bin and Eunwoo’s classes today. Telling them that if anyone inquires, they only need to say that Eunwoo had taken ill and his brother is taking a few days off to care for him.

Jinwoo’s phone buzzes and pulling it out from his pocket sees a text from Bin, stating that upon arriving at the hospital Eunwoo had momentarily regained consciousness and that he recognized Bin before falling into a doctor ordered sedated sleep. Reassured that Eunwoo appeared to be out of any danger, Jinwoo texts back to say he will be at the hospital within the hour. Jinwoo, feeling relieved and thankful, informs the staff and teachers of Eunwoo’s improved condition and departs for the hospital.

~~

Tapping at Eunwoo’s hospital room door, Jinwoo quietly enters. Bin, who is sitting at Eunwoo’s bedside holding his hand, turns to face Jinwoo and gives him a nod and smile. He then places his finger to his lips in a gesture that indicates that Eunwoo is sleeping. Jinwoo quietly walks in and observes that he is in a unusually deep sleep despite the heart and blood pressure monitors beeping in the corner of the hospital room. Eunwoo’s face is relaxed and has some of his colour back, although his face is strained and there are dark circles under his eyes. Jinwoo walks over to the other side of the bed and sits down. He takes his hand, avoiding the other hand as it was taped to an IV, which was connected to a vile looking yellow fluid suspended above his bed.

Without making a sound, Jinwoo calmly watches Eunwoo’s regular breathing and after a few minutes glances at Bin with a questioning look, who responds in his naturally quiet voice, “The doctor said that the cause is likely stress and exhaustion.” Jinwoo reacts with sigh of relief and soon feels tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He shakes his head, wondering how much strain Eunwoo must have been under to cause this collapse and feels guilty in not noticing what was happening to his best friend.

After a while there is a tap at the hospital door and Dr. Han comes in to check the monitors and IV; he soon beckons to Bin and Jinwoo to join him in the hallway for a short consultation. Jinwoo gives Eunwoo’s hand a quick squeeze and follows Bin out the door.

Turning to Bin, Dr. Han begins, “Your brother is stable and doing well. It appears that he is suffering from shock and when combined with lack of sleep and exhaustion, has caused his body to shut down resulting in this collapse.” Glancing at his clipboard, “According to his records, he has been suffering from insomnia for a few months now, and that the past therapy sessions had no effect on relieving this issue.” He paused and carefully chose his next words, “I can heal his body, but whatever is causing this mental stress and resulting insomnia needs to be addressed as soon as possible. I have arranged for a consultation with Dr. Cho, who is our most experienced psychologist regarding stress management. She will come by later today to talk to you.” Pausing, he looks at both Bin and Jinwoo, “Right now, what he needs most is rest, and a quiet and supportive atmosphere. We will keep him here for the next 24 hours for observation and to monitor his improvement. But I am confident that he should be able to return home tomorrow afternoon.” With that, he gave a polite bow and left.

Jinwoo, looking intently at Bin, is the first to speak. “I will arrange for his classes to be covered for the next week to give him time to regain his strength. If you agree, I would like Eunwoo to stay with me in my guest room as he recuperates. I promise that I will personally care for him and make sure he makes a good recovery.” Bin readily approved of the plan, knowing that Jinwoo would be a conscientious caretaker for him. Since Bin’s place has no guest room and coupled with the fact that with the upcoming school concert, he would be needed daily at the academy for his dance students. 

“Thank you, I cannot think of anyone who would take greater care of him. I will call each day and will visit often to keep him company and to hear directly of his progress.” He then gave Jinwoo a heartwarming hug in gratitude and thanks.

~~

Both Jinwoo and Bin planned to stay at the hospital overnight with Eunwoo. Between the two of them, they knew that Eunwoo wouldn’t be alone should he wake or need anything. They both agreed that one of the teachers at the school would go to Eunwoo’s home to pick up a few things for his extended time away from home and drop the bag off at the hospital tonight.

Jinwoo called the school and found that everyone is either in classes or was gone for the day – except for Sanha, who is having a late lunch in the lounge. Sanha was happy to assist and readily agreed to the request. He had thought about visiting Eunwoo but knew that a visit so early in his recovery would have been awkward. After all, they were not close. But Sanha felt a little responsible and it was in his nature to help anyone who was sick and needed care. Jinwoo tells him where Eunwoo’s extra set of keys are kept and asks that he pick up enough clothes for the next few days, including his robe and slippers. Happy to be able to be of assistance, Sanha leaves immediately after his last class and takes a taxi to Eunwoo’s home.

Sanha, stepping out of the taxi in front of Eunwoo’s house, is immediately struck by its elegance and simplicity. The house was new built but designed in the traditional southern Hanok style with a curved tiled roof and surrounded by a colourful garden courtyard landscape. He unlocked the door and entered one of the most elegant homes he has ever visited. The main room was furnished in a decidedly Arts & Craft style with deep cushions decorated with William Morris fabrics, while two large tapestries depicting the seasons of Spring and Autumn graced the entryway, with beautifully framed paintings displayed on the wainscoted walls. 

Feeling a bit awkward at being there without its owner, Sanha quietly walked through the living room to the back of the house and locates Eunwoo’s bedroom. Opening the door, he is immediately struck with the elegance of the décor, which is a symphony of soft blues and whites. There is large blue willow urn positioned perfectly in front of a tall white framed window, holding a beautiful flowering white Azalea plant. On the wall directly across from the bed is a large painting, executed in the Romantic style depicting a lone man, with his back to the viewer, standing among cliff rocks and overlooking a wild windswept sea and sky painted in a rich flurry of blues tones. Stepping closer, he sees the title on the brass plaque and reads “Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog” and he makes a mental note to try to find a copy of this for his own apartment. Looking down, on a cushioned window seat, he sees a book that Eunwoo was reading entitled “The Canterville Ghost” with a bookmark indicating that he had just begun reading this story. Placing this into an overnight bag which he brought for Eunwoo’s clothes, he looks around the room and discovers Eunwoo’s wardrobe closet. He quickly selects three changes of clothing, two pairs of pajamas, robe, underthings and socks. But unable to locate his slippers, he leaves to check the other rooms in search of them – but without success. As he walks past the cherry wood dining room, he sees a double set of wooden doors. 

Opening both doors at once, he is amazed to see before him a large artist’s studio, illuminated by the rich golden light reflecting the colours of the sunset outside. Facing directly across the room is a set of glass double doors which opens to an outside flower garden. Sanha also detects an interesting scent of lemon, linseed oil and paint which suffuses the entire space. On far opposite corners of the studio are two large standing easels. Forgetting all about his search for the slippers, Sanha decides to explore Eunwoo’s fascinating studio a little deeper. 

Stepping into the room, he looks to his left and notices a large shelf holding various props, drop cloths, paint supplies and a curious carved marionette. Leaning against the shelving unit are various canvases, which he stops to briefly examine. On the far wall to the right, is a large utility sink, and a worktable with various tools for stretching canvases, and mixing paints. The easel to the left displays a painting of a prosperous looking businessman, with only the face completed as his suit and background are sketched in simple broad strokes. The standing easel in the far-right corner is holding a large portrait sized canvas covered by a sheet of black cloth. Burning with curiosity and with little hesitation, Sanha pulls back the cloth to reveal a stunning painting of a tall Victorian woman, painted in the Romantic style of that era. The richness of the painting takes his breath away. The woman is wearing a detailed deep purple velvet gown, walking in a flower garden – her back is facing the viewer and she appears to be walking away. The mysterious woman is holding a bouquet of lilacs and yellow mimosa and that she is just turning to look back at the viewer.

The painting, however, is unfinished as the face of the woman is only sketched in with the briefest of lines. Looking about him, Sanha notices that scattered about the floor are discarded sheets of paper with rough sketches of various women’s eyes, lips and profiles – all of which are either torn in half or lay crumpled on the floor. He could only conclude that Eunwoo was struggling to find the right face for his artwork. Looking up again at the portrait, he is mesmerized at the fine details of painting and reaches up to trace the line of the velvet gown. Mesmerized, he closes his eyes and could almost feel the velvet under his fingertips as he touches the painting. Unexpectedly, he feels a faint swirl of wind around him and realizes he could smell the garden flowers that are at her feet. Surprised, he quickly opens his eyes and steps back, looking about the room and suddenly recalls where he was and what he was doing.

Sanha, confused with this odd sensation looks at the painting again which has now strangely become two dimensional again. He gives his head a shake and quickly covers the painting with the dark cloth and turns to leave. As he exits the room, he sees the slippers inside the studio entrance. Scolding himself for not seeing them earlier, he picks them up and closes the studio doors behind him. Entering the living room, he puts the slippers into the overnight bag and zips it closed. He then sits down in a large comfortable armchair and takes out his phone to call for a taxi and then texts Jinwoo to say that he is on his way to the hospital.

Tapping on Eunwoo’s hospital room door and quietly entering, Sanha hands the overnight bag to Jinwoo. With a smile of thanks Jinwoo sets the bag down and takes him by the arm leading him back into the hallway to talk. He tells Sanha that Eunwoo is doing much better and that he woke up about an hour ago and although weak, had some broth and fell asleep again. He said, “Eunwoo told us that except for the sensation of falling, he doesn’t remember anything about this morning, but thankfully he is on the mend. Bin and Minhyuk are inside, and they have offered to take me out to quick meal before we begin our overnight watch here.” He looked earnestly at Sanha and asked “Do think you can sit with Eunwoo while we grab a quick bite at the hospital café downstairs? We should only be a half hour or so. Eunwoo appears to be in a deep sleep, thanks to the broth and his sleep medicines.” Sanha was grateful that they asked for his help and said they can rely on him to keep a careful watch over him.

After giving him instructions on how to ring for the nurse and making sure he had everyone’s phone number, Bin, Minhyuk and Jinwoo leave the room for dinner. Pulling up a chair, Sanha silently sat down next to Eunwoo’s bed and silently looked about the room, listening to the gentle beeping of the heart monitor and Eunwoo’s steady breathing. Reaching out, he touched Eunwoo’s forehead and feeling that there was no fever, sat back in his chair and gazed at his resting face, which was serene and tranquil. He appeared to be having a dream and Sanha thought it must be a pleasant one, as Eunwoo had a contented smile on his face. Sanha felt a protective surge of sympathy for him and thought ‘poor Eunwoo’. He then laughed gently at himself – never imagining that he would ever say “poor Eunwoo’ before today. 

After a few minutes, Eunwoo stirred and slowly opened his eyes to see Sanha’s green eyes looking down at him, concern and care showing clearly on his face. Reaching up, he touches Sanha’s cheek and murmured, “That was a beautiful song, thank you.” and resting his hand again on his blanket, closes his eyes and falls again into a deep sleep. Surprised and pleased, Sanha places his hand on Eunwoo’s and keeps it there until Jinwoo and Bin return a few minutes later. He then rose from his chair and after a quick hug from Bin and Jinwoo, went into the hallway where Minhyuk was waiting to take him home.

During the drive Sanha is strangely quiet. Minhyuk, who was always very intuitive, glanced over at Sanha and rightly guessed that something was wrong. But after the shock of this morning and their recent visit to the hospital, it was understandable - even he was feeling a bit off center. After a few minutes, Minhyuk asks Sanha if he would like to stop somewhere for a quick drink. Sanha, replies with a slight nod of his head, “Yes, I think that may be something we both could use right now.” Minhyuk takes Sanha to a nearby café/bar and after being seated, immediately asks for two glasses and a bottle of Soju. They each pour a glass for the other and Minhyuk, noticing that Sanha is still rather silent, opens the conversation with “I’m glad Eunwoo is better and steadily improving. Jinwoo is determined to help him get completely well again.” After a pause, he added, “We are very lucky to be working together with such a caring boss as Jinwoo.” 

Sanha nods his head in agreement. He then pauses and turns his head to directly face Minhyuk and asks the question that had burning in his mind for some time, “Did you see precisely what happened this morning? I’ve been racking my memory and I can only recall Eunwoo walking up to me at the end of the song, when suddenly he begins to tremble and collapses.” On saying the last word, gives a shudder as if to shake off the memory. “It seems that he wanted to say something, but before he could...” Sanha ran his fingers through his hair and looks at Minhyuk with anxious eyes.

Minhyuk, after pausing for a few long seconds says, “Yes, it did appear to be very odd, but Jinwoo says his illness was totally due to a lack of sleep and stress.” He then adds with emphasis, “We can only be grateful that this did not happen in front of the students. Eunwoo would never have forgiven himself if he caused his students any worry or panic.”

“But do you think that it was the song that may have caused this to happen? I know the song is sad and melancholy, perhaps it may have actually prompted his breakdown?”

Minhyuk, responded with all seriousness, “I truly don’t think so. Keep in mind Eunwoo’s physical state he was under; he hadn’t slept for days and god knows what else. Your performance was likely a simple coincidence. Please, please do not associate your performance with his collapse. It would only pain Eunwoo more if he heard that you or Myungjun felt in any way responsible!”

Nodding his head in slow agreement, Sanha said with sadness, “I would also hate to think that we somehow indirectly added to his collapse.” Minhyuk reassuringly pats him on the back and says, “Let’s head on home, I’m sure Myungjun will have a lot of questions for you when you return.”

Tired and thoughtful, Sanha enters his apartment and is immediate greeted by Myungjun who asked if he had dinner yet; he quickly realizes that with all that has happened since lunch, he has not had a bite to eat. Reading his thoughts, Myungjun runs into the kitchen, saying “I’ll have some Ramen ready in 15 minutes. Go and get cleaned up and let us talk over dinner.”

Soon Sanha is seated at the table and Myungjun sets down two large bowls of steaming Ramen. While eating Sanha suddenly remembered that Myungjun’s last sight of Eunwoo would have been when he was carried out by the ambulance team, and quickly tells Myungjun about Eunwoo’s improved condition and how much better he looked, assuring him that Jinwoo and Bin are taking excellent care of him. Sanha, recalling his conversation with Minhyuk, also assures Myungjun that their performance this morning had nothing to do with Eunwoo’s fainting. 

Myungjun, on hearing this looks down at his hands, “I wondered about that too, Sanha. He was walking up to us after our song ended and he seemed to reach out before he collapsed.” He paused for a few seconds and continued, “We know that music can bring about strong emotions. I’m sure you recall how Jinwoo teared up when we first played the song for him.”

Myungjun’s words almost exactly echoed his own when he spoke to Minhyuk not an hour earlier. Sanha hesitated for a moment, but with a strong desire to assure Myungjun, told him what Eunwoo himself said to him at the hospital. “Eunwoo woke up briefly and said, ‘It was a beautiful song, thank you.’”

“What? He said that!” Myungjun exhaled in relief. “I’m so glad.” He beamed a grateful smile at Sanha and rising from the table, gave Sanha a quick hug. He then picked up the plates and carried them into the kitchen saying over his shoulder that he will do all the cleanup.

Still seated, Sanha recalled the moment Eunwoo touched his cheek – and with a slight blush, placed his own hand on that same spot and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long - but the plot thickens. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! I'm very interested in what you think of my work. ;-)  
> \-----------------------------------


	5. Curse or Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eunwoo, looks away to avoid Jinwoo’s reaction, “She wants me to undergo Hypnotherapy.”
> 
> Jinwoo's jaw slightly drops, a little shocked. However, by the time Eunwoo turned to face Jinwoo, he had quickly regained his composure. He hesitantly asks “And you need ME to be there?”  
> \----------------------------------

Early the next morning, Jinwoo woke from his sleep on the hospital room couch to see Eunwoo sitting up in bed and drinking a cup of water that Bin had just handed him. Jinwoo, on seeing his friend looking so much better, smiles and rubs his eyes, exclaimed, “Oh, you’re awake.” 

Eunwoo nodded in response and smiled at his friend. “I’m so grateful you’re here.” After a pause he added with a touch of guilt in his voice, glances at both Bin and Jinwoo. “I hope I didn’t cause too much trouble with my stupid fainting spell.” 

Bin looks at his brother. “We’re only happy that it wasn’t serious.” But he then shook his head and continued in a scolding tone, “We need to _take care_ of each other, and to let one another _know_ if we are not doing well.” Sighing, Bin stood up, “I’m heading out in search of real coffee. Jinwoo, I’ll get a latte for you.” Turning to Eunwoo with a shrug, but now grinning, “I’m afraid coffee is definitely off limits to you for now.” With that said, he went out the door.

Eunwoo, feeling duly chastised, looked at Jinwoo and said, “You may not believe this, but that is the worst scolding I ever had from Bin.”

Jinwoo, walked around the bed taking Bin’s place at Eunwoo’s bedside, and looked seriously at Eunwoo. “You gave us quite a shock yesterday. Please don’t ever let yourself get to this condition again.”

Eunwoo, looking down said quietly, “I promise.” But looking sideways, saw a small smile break out of Jinwoo’s face and quickly smiled back.

Jinwoo then told Eunwoo of his plan to care for him for the next few days, pointing to the overnight bag in the corner. “We even have your clothes here, so we can go directly to my place after you released. According to the doctor, we hope that will be later today.” Eunwoo, laid back against his pillows and with an air of resignation, agreed to the plan.

After breakfast, Eunwoo received a visit from Dr. Cho, the Psychologist. She was a small woman, smart, professional but with kind eyes. She introduced herself and after introducing herself to Jinwoo and Ben, she asked them to step outside for a bit, so she and Eunwoo can have a brief consultation.

After a few questions, and hearing Eunwoo’s description of his constant nightmares, Dr. Cho quickly surmised that whatever was causing these dreams and subsequent stress, must be the result of some kind of trauma that occurred in his past. She had seen this before in patients with depression, anxiety or post traumatic syndrome. Eunwoo’s memories of some kind of trauma were likely being triggered by something that happened earlier in the year – when the dreams began. 

“Mr. Moon, I can see that you have already tried several therapies, but to no avail. My approach would be not to simply address the symptoms, but to get to the root of the problem. The fact that you have the exact same dream with no variations, points to someone or a traumatic event that you have forgotten, or more likely, have unconsciously chosen to forget. I feel that hypnotherapy would be a beneficial therapy for you. It may in fact, resolve the problem completely.

“By hypnotherapy, you mean hypnotism?” Eunwoo’s face showed he was hesitant, if not a bit skeptical.

“Yes, if we can uncover whatever trauma occurred and address it directly, you can hopefully, get past these reoccurring nightmares.” She continued, “This therapy is voluntary, and we need your full cooperation for this to be at all successful.”

Eunwoo is hesitant and asked, “Can I have someone with me during these sessions?

“Yes, certainly. Although we ask that you bring only one person and that person should be someone you trust, somebody that you feel completely comfortable hearing what you may say.”

He immediately thought that his best friend would be the very person to help. But aware of Jinwoo’s responsibilities to the school, he asked, “How long will these sessions last?”

Dr. Cho considered a minute and checked her calendar. “We can schedule an hour each for three sessions, but it is likely the sessions will take about 30 or 45 minutes each. At the end of three sessions, we will know if this therapy seems effective.” Eunwoo said he would talk to his friend and will let her know later this morning.

When Bin and Jinwoo return, Eunwoo asks Bin that he would like to talk to Jinwoo alone for a few minutes. Bin, responds with a smile, “Sure thing, I owe someone a phone call – I’ll be back in a few.” So with phone in hand, exits the room.

Eunwoo, clearing his throat and looked directly at his friend. “Dr. Cho wants to have three therapy session to try to discover what underlying reason is causing these nightmares. I’m so desperate to have peace of mind again that I’m willing to try this out.”

“That’s good, but why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t this be kept confidential? I mean, only between you and your doctor?”

Eunwoo, looking away to avoid Jinwoo’s reaction to his next words. “She wants me to undergo hypnotherapy.”

Jinwoo jaw slightly drops, a little shocked. However, by the time Eunwoo turned to face Jinwoo, he had quickly regained his composure. Jinwoo warily asks, “And you need _me_ to be there?”

“Yes. Dr. Cho said it is perfectly acceptable – it helps the patient to know that someone is there – so the patient feels safe.” He continued with hope in his eyes, “Jinwoo, you have been my best friend since we were kids. I have complete trust in you to support me in this.” 

Jinwood, a little overwhelmed at Eunwoo’s words, quietly nods his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there for you.”

Relieved and smiling, Eunwoo “Good, let’s tell Bin so he is in the loop regarding the need for further therapy. But let’s not mention hypnosis unless we need to.”

Later that afternoon, Dr. Han visits Eunwoo to check in on his progress and finds him sitting up in bed and debating with his brother about what movie to watch next. He is happy with his patient’s recovery thus far and after checking his chart and monitor readings, affirms that Eunwoo can leave at any time.

~~

After arriving at Jinwoo’s apartment late in the afternoon, Jinwoo takes Eunwoo’s things into the guest room. “You know where the guest bathroom is if you want to wash up. Don’t worry about dressing for dinner, feel free to dine in your pajamas since you should be going go to bed directly after you eat today. I’ll start dinner now.

Eunwoo unpacking his bag, pulls out his pajamas and notices a book inside. Picking it up – he realizes that it is his own copy of Oscar Wilde’s “Canterville Ghost.” Smiling, he flips through the pages and realizes he now may have time to finish the book.

An hour later, Jinwoo has laid out a delightful dinner for Eunwoo, consisting of Ginseng Chicken soup with scallions and rice. After dinner, they then head into the living room to relax and enjoy a pot of soothing Jasmine tea. Eunwoo is reclining on the couch with a lap blanket that Jinwoo had thoughtfully provided. After filling their cups and sitting down in an armchair, Jinwoo takes a long slow breath and begins the conversation with a question, “Dr. Han mentioned that your condition was caused by lack of sleep and stress. What has happened, where is this _stress_ coming from, surely it can’t be from work?” He sees Eunwoo’s hesitation to speak and adds, “Is it something you can share with me?”

Eunwoo takes a long sip of tea, and staring into his cup, answers. “I know I should have confided with you months ago, but I thought I could deal with it.” He sets the cup down and turns to look at Jinwoo directly. “After all, it was simply a dream... or nightmare, that was the start of all this.” After a pause he sets his cup down and with a resigned sigh, he continued. “At the beginning of the school year, I began to have this nightmare that would leave me not only scared but wrecked. For some reason, I couldn’t get back to sleep no matter what I did to relax. I was only able to fall sleep again at dawn. Mercifully, the nightmares did not come every night, but happened often enough to rob me of peace of mind and sleep. I tried therapy, diet changes, exercise, meditation and nothing helped.” Eunwoo looked hard at Jinwoo and with frustration in his voice, “I thought I could handle it. I was just waiting for summer break and was planning a getaway. I thought that perhaps a change of place and air might do the trick. As you know, I had always wanted to go to Florence, to visit the museums and view the incredible works of art there. However, it now it appears Italy will have to wait.”

Jinwoo smiled sympathetically and then carefully asked, “What happened in this dream that made it so traumatic?”

“That’s the difficult part, because there is no real story to the dream to follow or analyze. But I will try to describe it; I am in total darkness, feeling kind of devastated and lost, and then slowly, a dark shadow appears and begins to float around me. The shadow is… almost blue black or dark purple but had no real shape – but I think it is a person now, but I’m not sure. Anyway, I would feel cold and hopeless and quite strangely, the shadow was warm and reassuring. But as I try to grab it, it would vanish from my hands, just to reappear again just beyond my reach. I felt I would die unless I could grasp it. I would desperately try, but again it would vanish from under my fingertips. Then it seemed to finally fade away into the distance, I would run after it in the darkness. I would begin falling, but as I fell into the darkness, I could hear singing or someone calling me – I’m not sure. But I would suddenly wake and find that I was either crying in anguish or covered in sweat… sometimes both.” Eunwoo was thoughtful for a minute and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. “It took weeks of my dreaming this over and over for me to remember that much – as little as it is.”

Jinwoo was listening with his hand under his chin, raised his head and focused on Eunwoo’s eyes. “If this has been happening for the past few months, I’m not surprised that this had taken such a toll on your health.”

“I could manage most of the time, but this past week, the dreams were coming almost every night. Jinwoo, I’m exhausted – and at my wits end. I want to stop these nightmares and if hypnosis might help, I want to do it. It’s my only option right now other than drugging myself every night with sleeping pills.”

“Well, your first session is tomorrow afternoon, let’s hope it does some good. Now, you should get to bed and take the meds the doctor gave you so you can get some rest. If you need anything at all, please knock on my door and let me know.”

With that, Eunwoo finished his tea, and with nod of his head and a tired smile, went straight into the guest room. Looking at the white medicine bottles on his nightstand he frowned and with a grimace, swallowed his pills to help him sleep. He then crawled under the warm blankets and soon fell into a deep drugged sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and/or comments if you like this! I'm curious to know what you think. Thanks! Next chapter will be uploaded this weekend.


	6. Comes the Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Cho takes note of this, and asks, “What year is this?”
> 
> Eunwoo replies almost in annoyance, “1886 of course.”
> 
> Jinwoo, shocked to hear this and with wide eyes, looks at Dr. Cho. Dr. Cho is also surprised, she only thought to go back to his recent past. She carefully asks, “What is your name?”
> 
> “Edward.”  
> \--------- ---------- -------------

Hoping that the hypnosis will help resolve whatever is troubling his friend, Jinwoo drove Eunwoo to Dr. Cho’s private clinic. Dr. Cho welcomed both to her private consulting room, which was spacious and furnished like a pleasant sitting room. There was a comfortable reclining chair in one corner where she indicated that Eunwoo should sit. Dr. Cho took a chair and sat next to Eunwoo and told Jinwoo to sit to Eunwoo’s right in a comfortable armchair. On the table next to Eunwoo, was a pitcher of ice water, cups, a box of tissues and a tape recorder.

Dr. Cho asked Eunwoo if he would like the session recorded, assuring him that he would have complete memory of the session, not like one sees in fictional performances on television dramas. He declined, so Dr. Cho picked the recorder up and puts it into her desk. “Mr. Moon, would you recline the chair to a position that you feel most comfortable?” Eunwoo, adjusted the chair so that he was slightly reclining. Fortunately, even at his height of six feet, his legs were supported by the chair so he able to relax comfortably.

Dr. Cho dims the lights so there is no glare, and begins to speak in a low soothing voice, “I want you to close your eyes, and relax, knowing that you are in a safe and peaceful place. No harm will come to you. Imagine… you are in a green and lush forest, and in front of you is a small river. The river is cool and peaceful, and on the bank is a small rowboat. You are getting into the boat which is comfortable and safe. You are now in the boat, and it begins to follow the flow of the river, the sounds about you are peaceful and you are warm and comfortable. Slowly, you begin to relax, you feel that your body is light and floating.”

Eunwoo, nods his head, and softly smiles as his head tilts gently to one side – as if he is about to sleep.

“You are now comfortably in the boat and gently going downstream. The sun is warm on your face, you are safe and relaxed. As you are going downstream, imagine that you are going back in time – slowly and peacefully. As you go back, recall the happy times as you continue to float downstream.” She now pauses and is careful how she approaches the next phase of the session. “Now the boat has gently come to rest at a bank in the river. You get out of the boat. Tell me what you see.”

Eunwoo replies, his eyes are now closed, and says in a low voice, “I am looking at a low wall.”

“Describe the wall to me.”

“The was made of round grey and white stones, it is cold and damp.” With these words Eunwoo puts his hand out as if he is feeling the stones.

“What else do you see?”

“There is a garden on the other side, a large garden of bright flowers and tall green trees.”

“Look down at your clothes, what are you wearing?”

“I am wearing a dark suit.”

Dr. Cho takes note of this, and asks, “What year is this?”

Eunwoo, replies almost in annoyance, “1886 of course.”

Jinwoo is shocked to hear this and with wide eyes, looks at Dr. Cho. Dr. Cho is also surprised, she only thought to go back to his recent past. She carefully asks, “What is your name?”

“Edward.”

Jinwoo at this point, has covered his mouth to keep from shouting and stares at Eunwoo.

Dr. Cho takes a few more notes and continues, “Edward, what is happening – what do you see?”

“She is wearing a purple velvet dress, I can hear her footsteps on the gravel path, and I can… I can smell the lavender in the garden. There… are lilacs.” After a few seconds, Eunwoo suddenly chokes down a sob “She is turning away, leaving me. Oh god, how can she leave me like this!” Eunwoo is now in a panic; he cries out in despair “No, please no!” He suddenly looks left and right as if he was looking for something, or someone. He is covers his eyes with his arm and is quiet for a few seconds. He then removes his arm and seems to be focused – looking straight ahead as he pleads in anguish, “Robert, Jean – help me, please!” He is now in tears and tossing from left to right and his hands are gripping the arms of his chair, “There is nothing I can do… nothing! Oh god… I ca-cannot live.” Eunwoo can no longer speak as he is sitting straight up and sobbing hopelessly, his hands covering his eyes.

Jinwoo stands up and rushes to Eunwoo’s side a look of anguish on his face. Dr. Cho raises her hand to stop him from touching Eunwoo saying in a slow soothing voice, “Eunwoo, listen to me. You are no longer in the garden; you have returned to the boat. You are safe and quiet, and you are now inside the boat… all is calm. Close your eyes and hear the soothing sounds of the flowing water of the river.” Eunwoo slowly puts his hands down, slowly becoming quiet and is closing his eyes. “You are at peace in the boat, peaceful and secure. Now recline into the cushions of the boat and feel the warm sun on your face; the boat is now traveling back to where you began, peacefully and secure.” He then reclines in the chair again, his eyes closed. After a minute she says, “You have now arrived to where you began, and you leave the boat and are safe. Now, when I count to three, you will open your eyes, and will feel calm and rested.” As she slowly counts, Jinwoo moves his chair closer to Eunwoo and as he opens his eyes, Jinwoo takes his hand and observes Eunwoo’s face.

Eunwoo sits up rubbing his eyes, and raised his head and looks first at Jinwoo and then at Dr. Cho. “Oh, my, god. That was unexpected. I feel as if I was in a waking dream.”

Dr. Cho hands Eunwoo a glass of water which he accepts gratefully. When he finished, he hands back the empty glass and asks in bewilderment, “1886? How is that even possible? Was it a dream or was I reliving some kind of past life?”

“To be frank, I’m not sure. Psychologists as a rule, do not use past life regression therapies, even age regression therapy is rarely used, as it is too easy to implant false memories. I’m not sure why you went into this kind of memory.” She looks briefly at her notes, and begin her brief analysis. “But it is evident a separation is that could be the basis of your trauma. Whether what you experienced is an amalgam of old movies you may have seen or books you may have read, or a past life, I don’t know – and we may never know.”

Jinwoo directed his question to Dr. Cho. “Can this, what did you call it, ‘past life regression’ truly help?”

Dr. Cho replied with some hesitation. “As you witnessed, I wasn’t trying to do anything like searching for a past life. But this experience or scenario is foremost in his subconscious and was obviously very traumatic coming to the surface directly. But, keep in mind that our objective has not changed. We need to try to work to help the psyche explain itself and heal.” Turning to Eunwoo she asked, “If you can face this separation trauma, or at least understand it, this may allow a healing process begin.”

Eunwoo taking a deep breath, returned to his usual stoic self and said, “My next session is in two days, let’s see where the next session takes us. Right now, I have a lot to process.” He looks at his friend with tired eyes. “Jinwoo, ready to head home?”

With that said, Jinwoo and Eunwoo thanked Dr. Cho and left the office.

When they arrive at Jinwoo’s place, he asks Eunwoo if he would like to rest before dinner. Eunwoo, throws him a grateful look. “I think I would like to rest for an hour or so, thanks.” He goes to the guest room, lays down on his bed and tries to make sense of what happened during his session.

Jinwoo with a small glass of wine in hand, sits down on the living room couch, curls his legs under him; and stares out his picture window focusing on the sunset as it begins to set over the Seoul city skyline. Recalling the earlier scene of his normally serene and calm friend of many years, sobbing and calling out, was alarming and almost frightening to Jinwoo. The session was certainly more than he had imagined would happen. Casting a glance towards the guest room, he could not imagine how Eunwoo must be feeling.

About an hour later, Eunwoo returns to the living room and sits down in the armchair opposite Jinwoo. Seeing the glass of wine in his friend’s hand, tilts his head and gives him a look that reads ‘can I have one too?’ Even though it is against Dr. Han’s advice, Jinwoo nods his head and stands up. “I’ll get one for you.” He returns with a small, chilled glass of white wine and hands it to Eunwoo.”

Taking a refreshing sip, Eunwoo relaxes into his chair and says with a subdued air of resignation, “I can hardly believe what happened to me today.” 

Jinwoo nods his head in sincere agreement. “Are you okay with talking about what happened during the session right now?” Eunwoo nods his head with a tired smile. 

“Yes, I’m fine with it, but it is so strange – I’m having a hard time processing what happened, especially the emotions and level of despair that I felt.” He paused and taking a deeper drink of his wine, continued. “Jinwoo, I know what you witnessed during the session, but you don’t have the full picture of what I was seeing. It was so real, I was _that_ person - I wasn’t looking from above or from another point of view, I was there.”

Jinwoo looked at Eunwoo trying to fully understand. “Can you describe it; I mean how things looked to you – was it real or dreamlike?”

  
He ran his hands through his hair as the words rushed out, “Oh my god, it was so real. I was there in that garden; I could feel the ground beneath my feet, smell the air and see all the colors. I can recall all the details, the house adjoining the garden, the cloudless sky and the expanse of the flower garden. And the woman, oh the feelings I had – I can’t fully describe. Then the scene quickly changed, and I was in an old fashioned house and had just opened a door and the two brothers entered – Robert and Jean. I called out to them and began to experience the feeling of despair - it overwhelmed me. I remember clearly that Jean led me to a chair and that was when I said that I,… I wanted to die.”

Not quite sure what to say Jinwoo was quiet for a minute, and collecting his thoughts observed, “Yes, you sounded so desperate. Dr. Cho brought you out of there, out of that situation. Eunwoo, I felt so helpless. I’m so grateful that the session was ended at that moment.”

“Yes, I am too. But I think there is still more of this story to be discovered, and there is something else I need to tell you.” He paused and thought for a moment, “But that can wait.” He then said to lighten the tone, “Let’s make dinner and not talk about this anymore today. I have the next session in two days, we will see how that progresses.” 

Jinwoo agrees and says, “How about a movie after dinner. Let’s find something fun to watch on Viki or Netflix.” 

“Sounds good.” Eunwoo adds, “However, I do have one request.”

“Yes?”

Eunwoo responds warily, “Nothing about time travel, please.”

With a frozen smile, Jinwoo replies, “Sure thing.”

. . .

The next day was quiet, Eunwoo had a good night’s sleep and after breakfasting together, Jinwoo left to go to the Academy for the rest of the morning but said he would return for lunch and stay the rest of the day. Eunwoo spent the rest of the morning taking a long hot bath, and dressing comfortably, reclined on the sofa with a cup of Jamine tea and read a couple of chapters of ‘The Canterfield Ghost.’

Closing the book, he laid back on the cushions, staring straight ahead, recalling his unfinished portrait of the woman in a velvet gown, which had been sitting unfinished in his studio for weeks. He knew that it was the same woman he saw in his hypnotherapy session. The narrative, or rather the significance of the portrait to him was now clear. Excitedly, he searched Jinwoo’s desk, found a pencil and began to sketch her face on the inside of the endpaper of his book. The heart shaped face, rosebud lips, delicate nose and the round eyes that held a fleeting look of sorrow. When he was done sketching, he knew he could at last finish the portrait.

****

**_2 nd Session: _ **

Tuesday at 3:00 pm was the time for the next appointment. Although anxious, Jinwoo and Eunwoo were a little more prepared and knew how important it was that they continue with the hypnosis therapy. They were seated as before, and Dr. Cho began the hypnosis, again using the boat on the river imagery. 

Dr. Cho reached the point where she could ask him, “You have now stepped from the boat, what do you see?” 

“I see the garden, and she is there, walking away from me.” His face begins to show panic and he is muttering to himself. “Oh god, how can she leave me?” Like the session before, begins to sob aloud and covering his eyes with his hand, turnig his head from side to side as if he were trying to wake himself up.

Jinwoo looks at Dr. Cho and with anguished eyes shakes his head, mentally imploring her to stop this. Not wanting Eunwoo to relive the trauma of the earlier session.

Dr. Cho immediately begins to calm Eunwoo. “Edward, you are no longer in the garden. It is now the following day, where are you?” He then begins to calm down and looking about him as if he is surprised to be somewhere else so quickly.

“At my London flat.” Eunwoo says, now calm again.

“Are you alone?

“No, I am with Jean.”

“Tell me what is happening.”

Suddenly his voice is filled with despair. “I am talking to Jean.” But before Dr. Cho can ask any additional questions, Eunwoo begins to talk as if Jean was in the room. “Jean, please tell me what I can do. I asked for her hand and her father refuses. Sasha said she must honor her father and family and cannot – will not – go away with me or even see me. No matter how much I plead.” 

Eunwoo is in anguish again and tears begin to fall from his eyes. 

Dr. Cho soothes him with words of assurance and safety, gently asking, “Who is this lady?”

Edward quietly replies “Shoshana… my beloved Sasha.” He closes his eyes as if concentrating on a memory.

“Where and how did you meet?”

“At a salon at Leighton’s place in Holland Park.” Eunwoo smiles and looks ahead, as if recalling a pleasant memory. “I heard her voice before I ever saw her. She was singing – what a beautiful voice – to a group of gathered friends in the garden. I asked a gentleman who she was, and he said her name was Shoshana. I had to speak to her, so I simply walked up and introduced myself. I told her it was a lovely song and thanked her.”

“Can you describe her?”

“She is wearing white, with blue ribbons and flowers, tall and slim, and her hair is a rich sable brown. But it is her eyes, her beautiful eyes that I marvel at.” 

“Her eyes?”

“A beautiful, brilliant green – I would so like to paint her. “

“Edward,” Dr. Cho asks tentatively, “Are you an artist?”

“Yes. But I am not a member of the Royal Academy. If one is not a member, the nobility, - everyone - sees you as worthless.” His voice is angry, and he begins grip the arms of his chair in an effort to control his anger.

Dr. Cho quickly asks another question, if only to move away from the troubling emotion that Eunwoo is experiencing. “You mentioned the other day, two people, Jean and Robert. Tell me about Jean.”

Eunwoo calms again and answers simply, “My best friend and fellow artist.” Pausing, he continued. “He is married, no _\- was_ married to Marie.” He continued with sadness in his voice. “She died.” He sighs heavily. “Oh poor Jean, how he loved her. He and little Marianne miss her so.” Eunwoo appears now to be calm again.

“And who is Robert?”

“My brother.”

“Is Robert an artist too?”

“No, he is a fine arts importer, Asian art and antiquities. He and Benjamin are in business together. 

“Who is Benjamin?”

“Ben is Jean Jacque’s brother-in-law, poor Marie’s brother.”

“Thank you, Edward.” Trying to move the narrative forward, Dr. Cho thinks for a moment and then asks, “Edward, it is now one month later. Where are you, and how are you feeling?”

He responds with a weak and quiet voice, “I am home. But I am sick, very sick.”

“Isn’t Jean or Robert with you?”

“Robert and Ben are in the next room. Jean has gone to fetch the physician again, but he will be of no use.” 

“No use, what do you mean?”

With a pained smile, he replies, “I have a thought, a plan to be free of this pain.” After a long pause, he turns his head to one side and says quietly “Sasha.” Suddenly smiling sweetly, Eunwoo falls into a deep sleep. 

Dr. Cho is a little concerned to where this story was going. “Edward, where are you now?”

Edward replies, very slowly... “At peace.”


	7. Calm and Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inexplicably, Jinwoo began to tear up. He was always soft and emotional but for some reason, perhaps it was the story or Eunwoo’s melancholy voice, which made him so tearful. Looking up at his friend, he quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand, swallowed hard and smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a couple of new tags, so please take notice. More is revealed in this chapter for character growth/evolution. Hope you like this. All comments/kudos greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!  
> \----------------- -------------------------------------- -

Worried, though confused, Jinwoo looked at Dr. Cho wondering if she understood what was happening. She, however, avoided his gaze and focused on speaking with words of assurance as she did in the last session. “Eunwoo, you are now at the riverbank, the boat is waiting for you, and you are now stepping into the boat and are warm and safe. You are now drifting to where you began, and all is safe and secure. Now you are looking about you in the present time, and everything is peaceful.” Dr. Cho, unlike last time, tells him that he would fall into a deep and dreamless sleep for 3 minutes after which he will then awake. “You will recall all that happened today, but without anxiety or fear.”

Three quiet minutes later, Eunwoo sits up and rubs his face with both hands as if he had been asleep for hours. He looks at Jinwoo and takes a deep breath and smiles reassuringly. Dr. Cho asks him “Today’s session took much longer than I thought it would. How are you feeling now?” 

“I’m feeling a bit tired, but good.”

“Excellent. Right now, I think it might be best for you to go home and get some rest. But before you go, do you have any questions regarding today’s session?”

Eunwoo hesitates for a minute, but then asks, “Not at the moment, but may I call you tomorrow or later in the week? I may have some questions after I have had time to process what happened today.” She informs him that she would be free most mornings and not to hesitate to call. With that assurance, Eunwoo leaves the clinic with Jinwoo walking silently alongside.

Back at the apartment, Jinwoo asks if Eunwoo would like to rest or talk. Eunwoo, seeing his friend looking strained and anxious, replied, “Let’s not talk for now. I feel the need for sleep, and you look like you can use some rest too. We can go out later today for dinner to a quiet restaurant where we can talk without the bother of cooking or cleaning. Yes?”

Jinwoo with a feeling of relief, readily agreed. “To tell the truth Eunwoo, I could use some quiet time too.” Smiling and with a supportive pat on Jinwoo’s shoulder, Eunwoo walks into his bedroom and with a yawn, laid down on his bed and thought about what had occurred. While deep in thought, he turns to his side and hugging a pillow to his chest and is soon asleep.

Four hours later, it is late afternoon and Eunwoo walked into the living room to find Jinwoo with his headphones on and stretched out on the sofa, his eyes closed. However, sensing movement, he opens his eyes and sitting up sees Eunwoo standing at the front picture window looking at the view of Seoul under a bright summer sky. “You’re up. I trust you had a restful sleep?”

Smiling he replies, “Yes, dreamless and without meds too.”

Standing up with a look of relief on his face. “Let me make us some coffee or tea, and we can talk, or not talk, which ever you please.” 

“Tea would be perfect.” Eunwoo murmurs, looking at Jinwoo with real gratitude.

Within a few minutes, they are seated in Jinwoo’s comfortable dining room with the table laden with almond cookies, sweet cakes and a steaming teapot of hot Earl Grey tea.

Jinwoo poured the tea and leaned back in his chair, trying to gage his friend’s mood. “So, having gone this far, do you think that an additional session is needed, or was this last session enough for you?”

Taking a drink of his tea, he placed the cup back on the saucer with a nervous rattle. “Well, I do feel rather battered around emotionally. I thought today’s session might be traumatic – but suicide?”

Jinwoo put his cup down with a noisy clatter. “Suicide! Was that what happened?”

Eunwoo nodded and rubbed his forehead with his hand, as if he were suffering from a headache. “Although he was terribly ill, typhoid fever I believe, Edward was so depressed he simply lost his will to live. If you recall he mentioned a plan. That plan was to overdose on his medicine that was kept in a small brown bottle on a table in his bedroom. The medicine was called Laudanum.” Eunwoo takes a deep breath and continues with his recollection of that day. “While the others were in the next room, he drank the entire contents of the bottle. By the time the doctor arrived, Edward was dying, and said the only thing that was in his heart – Sasha.”

“Oh my god, he felt that hopeless. I knew it was bad, by what you said during your session… but losing your will to live. He must have felt total and absolute despair.” He considered for a few seconds, and asked, “So it sounds like within a few weeks of his separation that he died?”

“Yes, his friends tried to help him, but he refused help – even from Robert, his own brother.” Eunwoo thought for a bit and continued, “I’m not sure, but if we allow that it is truly a _past life,_ the trauma’s impact is even more imbedded into my subconscious.” He looked at his friend, as they both realized the same truth. “So, I can see that my sleeping unconscious mind was trying grapple with this, and thus…”

“And thus, the nightmares began.” Interjected Jinwoo. “But Dr. Cho, mentioned a trigger for these dreams because they began earlier this year. Otherwise, you should have had them years ago. What could the trigger have been?”

“I have no idea. Perhaps I saw a movie with a suicide, or perhaps read a book with a storyline of a traumatic separation. It could be almost anything.” Eunwoo shakes his head, “In any event – having been through this now, I understand what may have been the reason behind these nightmares. Maybe as Dr. Cho suggests, they may go away for good.”

“We can only hope that this therapy works in that way.” Jinwoo mused.

Eunwoo refilled his cup and reached for an almond biscuit. “Jinwoo, there is more that I didn’t, or rather, couldn’t focus on until now.” Taking a sip of tea, he looked directly at his friend and said, “Jinwoo, you were there in 1886. You were Jean-Jacques.”

Jinwoo, could do nothing but stare with his mouth open. “W-what?”

“Yes, in addition to that… Benjamin was my brother Bin.” Upon saying this, he rubbed his hand over his mouth and chin and stared down at the table. To Jinwoo, it was apparent that he was replaying the scene in his mind at that moment.

Jinwoo, cleared his throat and calmed himself with a bite of sweet cake. He was now very curious as to why he was in Eunwoo’s past life. Was it even possible that he lived a past life where he was friends with Eunwoo, or rather Edward? He had to ask, “If you can, tell me more about Jean?”

Looking up at his friend, he smiled and picking up an almond biscuit and dipped it into his tea and took a bite. “I can. When I was Edward, I was completely him – I can recall everyone in that scene that was played out in his flat, and in Shoshana’s garden.”

“So, you can describe details of what you experienced without having to be hypnotized again?”

“Yes, at least persons surrounding those two scenes. Jean for example, did not look exactly like you do now, but was remarkably close. You were French and spoke with a slight accent, your hair was dark brown and you were slightly taller. The thing I did notice, was that your chin and cheek moles were there, and your voice was the same as it is now.”

Jinwoo shook his head slowly, not quite willing to accept what he is saying. But a thought struck him, and he had to ask. “You mentioned that he, Jean I mean, was married to a Marie and that he was sad. Can you tell me about that?

Eunwoo took a deep breath, his eyes tinged with sadness. “Marie was Jean’s wife, the love of his life. She was small, petite, with raven black hair, dark eyes and the most beautiful smile. She had a wonderful voice and would sing Marianne to sleep every night. Marianne was just like her mother – happy, lively and kind.” Jinwoo listened intently trying to envision what Jean’s family must have looked like. Eunwoo, took another drink of tea and forced himself to relax for a few seconds before continuing his story. “When she passed away suddenly, Jean was devastated for months. But he had Marianne to take care of and comfort, so eventually was able to live his life again for her. But we all knew that he would never marry again.” 

Inexplicably, Jinwoo began to tear up. He was always soft and emotional but for some reason, perhaps it was the story or Eunwoo’s melancholy voice, which made him so tearful. Looking up at his friend, he quickly wiped his tears with the back of his hand, swallowed hard and smiled. “That sounds so real. It seems strange that you would know all this now, and with only two sessions. Perhaps there is more to all this than we can understand.”

“Yes. Over the last couple of days, I’m beginning to believe everything is real.” He ran his hands through his hair, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I have one last question, if you’re not too tired.” Eunwoo bit his lower lip and nodded, acknowledging both his tiredness but accepting the question. “You said that Bin was there too. Can you tell me about him, too?

Leaning back in his chair, Eunwoo sighed. “Yes, he was there too. He looked different – very English if you know what I mean and tall with black hair. Like Jean, he had the same smile and voice. In the flat he was noticeably quiet and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He had lost his sister, Marie, in that accident I mentioned a few minutes ago. I’m sure Edward’s serious illness was taking a toll on him.”

Jinwoo didn’t know what else to say or ask. He knew that his friend was feeling both strained and worried. He needed to take his friend out, to get away from the stress he was still suffering under. Forcing a smile, he turned to Eunwoo. “Let’s have a change of subject right now. I’m feeling hungry. Are you ready to head out for a nice dinner somewhere or should we have something delivered?”

“I am kind of tired, do you think we can have pasta delivered from that place we like downtown?

“You mean Giovanni’s? Sure, I’ll call them now.”

With dinner on its way they settled into watching an old movie from Jinwoo’s DVD collection called “Miss Granny.” Not only was it funny, but because Jinwoo loved the song [White Butterfly. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdnC743DT8o) It always made him cry – and sometimes - crying is the best stress reliever.

~~

The next day, after Jinwoo had gone for his half day at the Academy, Eunwoo called Dr. Cho to touch base on his therapy sessions. “I wanted to let you know that I don’t believe another session would be necessary. I feel that I had explored this story to its end and discovered the incident that caused the nightmares. “

Dr. Cho took a moment to consider Eunwoo’s request. “Mr. Moon, we still can’t be sure if this is the case. However, if this incident that you revealed in your session is the reason for the nightmares, we hope they may cease.” She continued, “We still don’t know what triggered your nightmares, so they may still reoccur. However, if the dreams continue unabated, you need to call me so we can determine if more therapy is required, or if we need to look at a new approach to this. Right now, what is needed most for your body is rest, and that you avoid any stress for the next several days.” Eunwoo agreed to advice, and with a promise to call again in a week with an update, ended the call.

When Jinwoo returned from school to join Eunwoo for a late lunch, they decided to head to a local BBQ café. Having selected an Udon noodle bowl with Korean Beef to share. Eunwoo let Jinwoo know that he had decided to stop his therapy sessions. Hearing his reasons, Jinwoo agreed that they should give it time and see if the nightmares stopped and that Eunwoo is back to a healthier condition. As they finish their lunch, one thing that Jinwoo does notice is that Eunwoo appetite seems to have returned, as he finished his entire meal rather than picking at his food as before.

What Jinwoo also notices over the next few days is that Eunwoo is looking much better with a brighter complexion and no longer has shadows under his eyes. Even more interesting, is that his temperament seems to have changed. His irritability seems to have disappeared and his conversations with Jinwoo and Bin are pleasant and filled with smiles and, even more astonishing, laughter. Bin was thoughtful enough to bring a sketchpad and watercolour pencils from the Academy’s supply room to help him pass the time; Eunwoo was grateful for the gift and took great pleasure in completing several watercolour paintings of Jinwoo’s garden flowers, which were now in full summer bloom. 

On Friday afternoon, Jinwoo returned home to find Eunwoo, smiling and chuckling to himself over a chapter from his novel he was reading. Eunwoo, to put it simply, seemed to be enjoying life.


	8. Eunwoo's Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eunwoo had a couple of early attachments as a young teenager, but mostly out of kindness than any real affection, but nothing like what he had just experienced. Eunwoo thought he was meant for a solitary existence and was content with the life that he had made for himself. His art, music and interests were enough – nothing was missing. Until now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is a bit long - but it is a pivotal one. Thank you for your kudos and comments - all are greatly appreciated.  
> \--------------------------------------------- -

Saturday Morning

Eunwoo, after waking from another dreamless sleep and feeling refreshed, gets up to make a pot of coffee. Sitting at the dining table, he is soon joined several minutes later by Jinwoo, who is wearing his comfy plaid robe and looking sleepy. He paused, and looking carefully at Eunwoo tentatively asks, “No dreams?”

“No dreams.” Eunwoo replies with a smile. Looking at Jinwoo’s sleepy face, he points to his cup of coffee and asks, “Shall I get you a cup?” Jinwoo slowly seats himself at the table and nods a yes. Eunwoo heads off to the kitchen and asks over his shoulder, “Milk and two sugars, right?”

With a smile, Jinwoo responds “Yes, please.” Returning with cup in hand, Eunwoo sets it down in front of Jinwoo saying that it was his intention to go back home today.

“The dreams seem to have stopped. I haven’t had the dream since Sunday.” He added cautiously “The therapy seems to have worked.”

Quickly thinking it over, Jinwoo replied, “I’m happy your nightmares seem to have subsided, but you must promise me, as a friend, that if the dreams return you will tell me right away. Also, I’m going to arrange for Bin, Minhyuk or Sanha to visit you tomorrow for a couple of hours to check up on you. Once you are back in school, I can see for myself that you are well rested.”

“I promise, but you really don’t have to have anyone check on me – that’s certainly not necessary.”

“Just humor me, it is not so much to check on you, but I would feel better if I knew you weren’t totally alone all day. You don’t know how much you frightened Bin and me last week.”

Smiling now with real gratitude, Eunwoo spoke quietly, “Jinwoo, I do want to thank you for all you have done for me this past week.” He then reached across the table and gave Jinwoo’s arm a squeeze, “Truly, thank you.”

Jinwoo grinned and leaning back in his chair said, “You don’t know how relieved I am that you are better; I must say however, that I will miss your company – and your good cooking,” he added with a chuckle.”

Eunwoo grinned and replied, “In honor of my recovery, I want to invite you, Bin and Minhyuk over for dinner at my place tonight, by way of my thanks to you all.”

“What a great idea, I’ll call them right after breakfast. Jinwoo looked at his watch and added, “And you my friend, need to pack. The morning is almost half over.”

~~

Eunwoo was finally home. He looked around and thought that it somehow felt different, like something had changed – exactly what he wasn’t sure; but he could feel it in his bones.

He could tell his housekeeper had been there recently, the apartment carried a mild scent of fresh lemon and soap – a familiar sign that it had been cleaned. Stopping in the kitchen and opening the refrigerator he realized that it was close to empty, as the housekeeper would have cleaned out everything that might not be fresh. He then called his favorite restaurant and arranged for the delivery of food for dinner later this evening, promising himself that he would arrange for a grocery delivery the next day.

After unpacking, a hot bath and change of clothes, Eunwoo ventured into his studio. Seeing his unfinished work, rather than feeling frustration, he felt inspired – he knew now knew the meaning behind his painting, and more significantly, who the woman represented. Unlike his earlier attempts at drawing the lady’s face, he knew exactly what she should look like. Recalling that he had sketched her image in the end papers of the book he was reading, left to get the book from his bedroom and returned to the studio. After refreshing his memory with a view of the sketch, he began to paint in earnest. 

Three hours later, with brush in hand, Eunwoo stepped back to analyze his painting. He was amazed at the face. It was now an exact copy of the woman from his hypnotherapy session, Edward’s beloved Shoshana. The painting portrayed an elegant young lady in her early 20s, with a graceful heart shaped face, sable brown hair, round eyes with long curved lashes, a delicate narrow nose and rosebud pink lips. As he applied the colours for her green eyes, he stopped and realized that the eyes looked so incredibly familiar - a brilliant shade of emerald green. He knew he had only seen that eye colour during his therapy session, so didn’t dwell on it any further, not wanting to mix Edward’s memories with his own. Finally, with the eyes completed, Eunwoo stepped back to view his work and with a contented sigh, dipped his brush in black paint and signed the canvas. He covered the painting with the black cloth, cleaned his brushes, and washed his hands. The painting was at long last, finished.

An hour later, just as Eunwoo was setting the table, the doorbell rang with the delivery of food from Eunwoo’s favorite local restaurant. Jinwoo soon arrived and brought a small cake filled with fresh fruit for dessert. Fifteen minutes later, Bin and Minhyuk arrived bringing with them two bottles of Eunwoo’s favorite French and Argentine wines. 

That evening’s dinner passed pleasantly with everyone is good spirits. Bin was pleased with Eunwoo’s progress and had noticed that his brother was more cheerful and less likely to frown. Enjoying both the meal and the wine, everyone was in a happy mood, especially Jinwoo. This was mostly due to the fact that Eunwoo had confided to him earlier that he has not had a bad dream since Sunday’s session, nearly a week ago. When dinner was finished, Minhyuk went into the living room, pushed Eunwoo’s armchair to one side, so he and Bin could demonstrate their final steps to the Jazz piece they were practicing for the Academy concert on Friday. After a very precise choreography, they finished with a dramatic flourish, to which everyone loudly applauded. Minhyuk, with a smirk, explained that they not only planned to impress the school, but Bin’s girlfriend as well. Jinwoo exclaimed “Girl friend?” Both Eunwoo and Jinwoo turned to Bin with surprised looks on their faces and immediately demanded to hear the full story.

Bin blushed a little and said, “It’s true, I have been dating her for several weeks now. She’s a cellist with the Symphony, her name is Joen Min-Rae.”

Eunwoo was happy for this brother, grinning and nudging him on the shoulder; like the two brothers would have done as boys. Jinwoo was a pleased to see Eunwoo so friendly and happy, not to mention the constant smile Bin wore on his face. Minhyuk, with a mischievous look glance at Bin, declared how well he would look in a tuxedo, if Bin needed a best man. Moonbin blushed a deeper red and glared at Minhyuk.

Eunwoo, with a wide smile, looked closely at his brother, asked, “I’m impressed, a cellist. How did you meet?”

Bin, shyly smiled. “Well, I was on the way to a cafe near the University and I saw MinRae struggling to get her cello out of her taxi, so I helped her and offered to carry it for her to the University Concert hall. Naturally, we got to talking.” He continued after taking a deep breath, “So, I asked, and she gave me her phone number.”

Jinwoo, stood up and patting Bin on the back, held up his wine glass. “A toast! To Eunwoo’s speedy recovery and to Bin’s courage in helping a damsel in distress.” Laughing, everyone joined in the toast, including the two brothers.

**~~**

Jinwoo, who was visiting his parents Sunday, arranged for Myungjun and Sanha to visit Eunwoo that day and keep him company. Eunwoo still didn’t feel the need for this but had promised Jinwoo, so was trying to make the best of it for his sake, if not his own. But he had to admit that he was genuinely looking forward to having them over for lunch, as he had grown to know Sanha and Myungjun better over the past couple of months.

Comfortably dressed in a lightweight jacket, white turtleneck sweater and black denim jeans, Sanha arrived at Eunwoo’s home in good time, despite the rain that now began to fall during his taxi ride there.

Eunwoo was in his studio working on a commission portrait when the doorbell rang, so putting his palette and brush down, he answered the door. A very wet Sanha entered, because he hadn’t brought an umbrella. Eunwoo took Sanha’s jacket and after hanging it up to dry, went into the kitchen to get a towel for Sanha to dry off. “Thanks”, said Sanha, “I thought that the rain wasn’t supposed to fall until tonight, sorry for dripping all over your entryway.”

“No worries. Where’s Myungjun?”

“Ah, Myungjun thought he might be coming down with a cold, so he stayed home rather than risk the chance of rain. He sends his apologies.” Knowing that he may have arrived a little earlier than expected, he continued, “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything?”

“Not at all, I was just putting a few final touches on my painting.”

“Oh, can I see?”

‘Sure, but let’s have lunch first, then I can show you my latest work.” 

“Sounds good, I’m really hungry” He said with a chuckle. “Is there anything I can I do to help?”

“Sure. Do you know how to cook?”

With a grin, Sanha replied, “Anyone who has ever had to live alone is forced to learn how to cook one way or another, or else it is ramen or take out every day, like back in college dorm days.”

“That is so true.” Eunwoo chuckled, “I remember only having a microwave in my dorm and living off of cup of noodles and granola bars, until I was finally able to find my own place.” Peering into the refrigerator, he brought out a selection of fresh vegetables, saying, “Here, can you slice these for a stir fry while I heat up the wok?”

“I’ll be happy to.” He set to work and within a couple of minutes all the vegetables were ready.

“I have Korean beef or shrimp, which would you prefer?

Sanha, thinking it over for a minute, said “Shrimp. Seafood should always be cooked fresh. I’ll devein them; do you have a small knife?” Eunwoo opened a drawer and gave him a small, sharp paring knife.

After he had deveined a dozen shrimp, Sanha asked if he should do the other dozen. Eunwoo nodded and turned to add the vegetables to the wok, but a minute later he heard an “Ow!” He turned to see Sanha with his finger in his mouth and wincing. 

Eunwoo, immediately set the hot wok to one side and said, “All right, let me see.” Sanha, with his finger still in his mouth shook his head. Eunwoo, did a double take on seeing how cute Sanha appeared at that moment. Smiling, he then took Sanha’s hand and pulled him toward the sink and turned the water on, saying “Run your finger under this and I will get a bandage.”

Sanha did what he was told and responded to Eunwoo as he walked away, “It’s really a little cut, so a small bandage should be fine.”

Eunwoo soon returned with a band-aid kit and taking Sanha’s hand, gently blew on the finger to dry it, then gently applied an antiseptic which made Sanha wince. Almost in a whisper Eunwoo said soothingly, “There, there,” and selecting a band aid, wrapped it carefully around his cut finger. Sanha looked at him with almost disbelief, to hear and see him acting so kindly, almost tenderly. He had never seen this side of Eunwoo before.

They turned back to cooking dinner and within a few minutes were seated and enjoying the Japanese style dinner. The conversation was pleasant, they spoke of the Academy and the preparation for the upcoming concert. Eventually the conversation turned away from school topics and Eunwoo, who knew little of Sanha’s background outside of his resume, asked, “Tell me about your background, I know you studied in Boston for 4 years, but I’m curious about your earlier years here in Korea. Where are you from again?”

“Well, there is not much to tell. I grew up in YangYang-Gun, as you know is famous for its beaches and salmon. But what I loved the most were the glorious sunrises off the ocean. My friends and I would often stay at my grandfather’s beach house in the summer and swim all day.” Sanha smiled at the happy memories of summers at the beach. Recollecting himself he continued. “School and music always came easy for me, I have always performed well in school - but music is my passion. My English was always excellent, and my teacher encouraged me to apply and audition to attend Berklee College of Music in Boston. When the audition was scheduled to take place in Seoul, I auditioned and got in. That audition was my first visit to Seoul, little did I know this city would eventually become my home.”

“Is you family still living there, in YangYang-gun?”

“Only my grandfather. My parents divorced when I was still in secondary school and they have both remarried with new families, my sister lives with my mother in the U.S. I don’t see them often; it is always a bit awkward when I do visit – so I’m pretty much on my own.” Sanha, with these last few words, seemed to grow a little sad, but he shook out of those feelings and asked Eunwoo about his early years.

“I grew up here in Seoul, in Seongbuk-dong.” My father was an executive for a Tech company and did well financially. When he passed away eight years ago, as the eldest son, I inherited everything. My father was also divorced and my mother, whom I haven’t seen since middle school, moved to the U.S. when she remarried an American military officer. We keep in touch, but not very often as we were never close. Bin and I were pretty much on our own, but we went to different Universities – he took his own apartment, which is paid for by our investments, and I live here. As you probably know, Jinwoo and I have been best friends since our freshman year in college and together we started our school 4 years ago.”

“I know you went to UC Berkeley; did you go there after you graduated college in Seoul?”

Eunwoo smiled, “Yes, I went to Berkeley for 18 months. I always wanted to travel and applied to attend Berkeley almost on a whim and to my surprise, was accepted into the MFA Education Arts program.” He then leaned back in his chair and continued, “I loved it there. The air was clean, the people friendly and the pace was easy. Seoul is so busy and frenetic, but while at Berkeley I was living among sprawling lawns, rose gardens and great cafes. In fact, I had an invitation to visit San Francisco this summer from my old Berkeley roommate – he tutors there now. I was seriously considering going, but with all that has happened, I’ll probably have to give that a pass.” He sighed, and realizing he had been talking a long time, got up and started to clear the table.

After helping clear the table and placing the dishes in the kitchen, Sanha reminded Eunwoo of his promise to show him the studio. With a welcoming gesture, Eunwoo led him to the studio and opened the double doors. Outside the sky was darkening, so Eunwoo turned on the room lights bringing his spacious studio into sharp focus. Sanha could hear the rain beginning to fall again, which made a pattering sound against the glass panels that surrounded the studio. Eunwoo guided him to the commissioned portrait he was working on. Sanha noticed that the painting of the prosperous businessman he had seen before, was now seated in an armchair in a library. However, he was much more interested in the other painting, behind the black cover. Sanha pointed to it and asked if he could see that work. Shaking his head in a firm ‘no’, he added, “That will be the work I am unveiling on Friday at the Academy open house. No one can see it until then.”

Sanha, of course, had already seen the work, but it was unfinished at the time, and decided not to disclose this to Eunwoo and spoil his public unveiling. So, he turned to look at the props on the shelf and reached to pick up the beautifully carved marionette. He noticed a name painted on the heal of the puppet, which read ‘Marianne’, when a very loud thunderclap shook the studio. Sanha quickly put the Marionette down, and both of the teachers looked at each other. They swiftly moved to the outside double panel doors and opened them to witness the thunderstorm’s intensity.

Standing in the doorway, which overlooked the spacious flower garden, they felt the rising wind on their faces and watched the heavy rain beating down on the greenery and flowers. The blossoms were breaking apart and their colorful pedals were strewn about the ground and festooned the stone paths that encircled it. Soon the garden grounds were covered in pink, red, yellow and white splashes of color, while the other plants were almost dancing as the rain shook their stems, cleaning their leaves and buds, leaving them glistening where the droplets of rain had come to rest.

In the distance, both Eunwoo and Sanha could see the flashes of lightening and hear the rumbling and roar of thunder. As the lightning strikes grew closer and brighter, Eunwoo looked at Sanha’s face as he stared at the blinding lights that are coming nearer and stronger; his face showing both delight and wonder at nature’s fireworks. Eunwoo is close enough that he can see the lighting flashes reflecting in Sanha’s eyes and is mesmerized. Smiling, Sanha turned his head and met Eunwoo’s gaze, and looked back at him, knowing they shared the same feeling of enchantment and wonder. Then unexpectedly, the pelting rain suddenly subsided, the wind died down as the storm passed over. Nature’s spell was swiftly broken. 

With a nervous cough, Eunwoo glanced back into the house. “Tea. Would you like a cup of tea? Something warm would be nice about now.” 

Slightly disconcerted, Sanha responds with a “Ah, yes - thank you,” and they closed the glass doors and walked back into the main part of the house.

Eunwoo heads to the kitchen, and tells Sanha to go ahead and pick out some music they can listen to while he prepares the tea. Sanha searches through his collection and sees two CDs that have been set aside and is immediately interested to see what Eunwoo is currently listening to. One is the soundtrack to a movie called “Gosford Park” and the other, Rachmaninoff Variations. He chooses the soundtrack, and puts it into the player, but decides to wait until Eunwoo is seated before he hits play on the remote.

Eunwoo enters with two cups of tea on a small tray with a few Madeleines on a side plate. “Did you find something you would like to listen to?”

“Yes.” Sanha sits down on the floor with his back leaning against the couch as Eunwoo seats himself on the couch and places the tray on the low table beside Sanha. “This is a piece we actually analyzed during one of my composition classes at Berklee, it is one of my favorite ballads.”

Sanha hits play, and to Eunwoo’s surprise and pleasure, the song “ _[Land of Might Have Been](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX2u3iHkSws)_ ” by Ivor Novello begins to play. A beautiful wistful ballad had long been a favorite of Eunwoo’s since he first heard it several years ago.

_“Sometimes on the rarest nights,_

**_Comes the vision calm and clear,_ **

_Gleaming with unearthly lights,_

_On our path of doubt and fear:_

_Winds from that far land are blown,_

_Whispering with secret breath,_

_Hope that plays her tune alone,_

_Love that conquers pain and death.”_

Sanha, as the final chorus begins, joins in the song with his beautiful melodic voice, evoking both sadness and yearning:

_“Days may pass, and years may pass,_

_And seas may lie between;_

_Shall we ever find that lovely land of Might-have-been?”_

Impulsively, Eunwoo places his hand on Sanha’s shoulder and squeezes it, in a way to say ‘thank you’ without words. Sanha, without thinking, places his own hand on Eunwoo’s and warmly holds it as he slowly turns his head and looks up at Eunwoo. At that moment, their eyes meet, and with both hearts filled with sadness and yearning, they lovingly gaze at each other as the last notes of the song are played. Abruptly the next track, _No Smoke without Fire,_ an instrumental piece, begins to play. Sanha, rapidly realizing what was happening, swiftly removes his hand and stands up, saying uneasily, “I really should get back to my place. Um, ah…finals. Yes, finals week you know.”

Eunwoo remained seated staring straight ahead for a moment. Then quickly collecting himself, stands up and responds hurriedly, “Yes, I understand. Thank you for keeping me company today.” He turns off the stereo system, retrieves Sanha’s jacket and politely escorts Sanha to the front door. As he departs, they both nervously wave to each other in a wordless goodbye.

Closing the door, Eunwoo turns and looks towards the living room, vividly recalling what had just happened. The gentle touch of Sanha’s hand holding his, Sanha’s warm brown eyes looking up at him, and how he gazed at Sanha’s soft pink lips. “No,” he murmured out loud to himself, “Just no.”

Exhaling loudly, he runs his hand through his hair, walks into the kitchen and quickly pours himself a glass of cold white wine, takes a quick long drink and refills his glass. He walks back into his living room, sits down in his favorite chair and staring straight ahead, tries to make sense of what has just happened. A little stunned, he nervously tries to sort out what he is feeling. He had never felt this way toward anyone.

Eunwoo had a couple of early attachments as a young teenager, but mostly out of kindness than any real affection, but nothing like what he had just experienced. Until now, Eunwoo thought he was meant for a solitary existence and was content with the life that he had made for himself. His art, music and interests were enough – nothing was missing. Until now. 

He glanced over to the table near the couch and gazed at the teacups. Emotions began to overtake him, and tears were beginning to form in his eyes as he stared. The two teacups were sitting there, a poignant and silent reminder that he was alone again, and more significantly; that he was _lonely_. 

Eunwoo had gradually begun to recognize that an empty portion of his heart, a part he was almost unaware existed, had awakened. With mixed feelings of misery, yearning and hope, he realized that he was deeply attracted to Yoon Sanha, a teacher from his own Academy.


	9. Words of Assurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myungjun, reading the expression on his face as a clear response to his question, got up from the table, took Sanha by the arm and led him to the living room telling him to sit on the sofa where they can talk comfortably. He then asked Sanha directly. “Now, not that I want to pressure you – but I’m going to pressure you. Tell me what has happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the latest installment to my story. Please leave comments and kudos, I am very much interested in your opinion! Thank you.  
> \------------------------------------------------------- -

Standing outside of Eunwoo’s home, Sanha pulled out his phone and called for a taxi. Sitting down on the damp curb, he tries to clear his head. What the hell just happened…do I have feelings for Eunwoo? He gave his head a shake and recalling the last few hours, he slowly realizes that - without him knowing when or how - he was falling in love. 

Sanha knew that ‘falling in love’ is a strong phrase. But it didn’t mean you were _in love_ , although like gravity’s pull, you were being drawn toward it. He knew this was something far beyond mere attraction in that there was something deeply compelling about Eunwoo. When he looked into his eyes – he felt lost and yet found, that time stopped and yet sped up – and what remained was yearning, longing and confusion.

Looking down at the wet pavement, he places his hands over both his eyes and said aloud to himself, “What the hell am I doing, falling for the owner of the school where I work? Damn, damn and damn.”

The taxi ride home was unusually quick and within minutes Sanha was dropped off at his apartment. Myungjun was on the couch, playing a game on his laptop, the table littered with snack bags and empty bottles of green tea and banana milk. Sanha smiled a greeting and asked, “Shall I make dinner in an hour?” Myungjun, not wanting to interrupt his game, glanced at Sanha and with a grateful smile, nodded his head, and turned back at once to his game.

Sanha, in the quiet of his bedroom, again tried to think through his feelings towards Eunwoo. Sanha had dated both women and men in the past and had an affectionate and caring heart; though he never came close to having the same emotions as he had experienced today. Remembering the moment, not more than an hour ago when he looked into Eunwoo’s eyes, he seemed to detect a deep sadness and melancholy, and it melted Sanha’s heart. He also remembered Eunwoo’s touch on his cheek in the hospital and how much it moved him, and today when they shared the thrill of the lightning storm, and he held his hand. Even in those rare few moments, there was a connection - not sparks or fireworks, but more like notes blending together to create a perfect chord; a wonderful chord vibration that he could still feel hours later. 

But how all this could happen was so strange, Eunwoo seemed to be always reserved, almost unapproachable – before today. But what he should do or not do about this, remained elusive. With a sigh, he looked at his watch and realized that he had promised Myungjun he would make dinner, so leaving his scattered thoughts and feelings, he headed toward the kitchen.

An hour later, dinner was ready and Sanha began to set the table. Myungjun, having just finished his game, was clearing the living room table of the wrappers and bottles. While he is cleaning up, he was also comically dancing and singing, “I won, I won, I woooonnnn!” all around the room. When at last he walked into the dining room he was laughing so mischievously that Sanha soon began to chuckle, just from the pleasure of seeing his roommate so happy. Soon they were both sitting down at the table and Myungjun became calmer, but still in high spirits. Between bites of his rice noodles with chicken, he asks Sanha, “Did you enjoy your visit with Eunwoo? Is he doing better?”

Not sure if he should disclose anything personal to Myungjun, Sanha begins by saying that it was a good thing he stayed home as he was caught in the rain getting there. He went on to describe Eunwoo’s house, his interesting music collection, and mentioned the mysterious painting that he wouldn’t show him that he was going to display at Academy open house. “As to Eunwoo’s state of health, he is doing much better, looking rested and is planning to return to the Academy tomorrow.” Sanha tried to sound disinterested but could help seeing Eunwoo’s beautiful smile in his imagination as he spoke.

“That _is_ good news, I’m glad he is doing better. I’m sorry to have missed visiting him.” Myungjun however, paused and looked hard at Sanha. “I think there is something that you are hiding from me though. Am I right?” Sanha was trying his best to avoid the subject uppermost in his mind, but Myungjun was always a keen observer and had likely sensed his nervousness. Myungjun, reading his face as a clear response to his question, got up from the table, took Sanha by the arm and led him to the living room telling him to sit on the sofa where they can talk comfortably. Myungjun then asked Sanha directly. “Now, not that I want to pressure you – but I’m going to pressure you. Tell me _what has happened_?”

Knowing full well that Myungjun would eventually put two and two together, reluctantly decided to confide in him. After getting Myungjun’s promise to keep everything between them, he told him what had happened that afternoon. Myungjun was surprised, but not shocked. He considered for a minute and then asked, “So things were left like that, nothing more said or confessed?” Nodding his head, Sanha fell back against the sofa cushions and sighed.

“I—I just ran away.”

Myungjun slowly shook his head in disappointment. He then added optimistically, “Well, if feelings are mutual, you just need to let things evolve naturally. Wait until after finals and the Academy Concert before you do anything like ask him out to dinner.” 

Upon hearing ‘ask him out’, Sanha looked alarmed and shook his head, speaking in a slightly panicked tone, “But he is the owner of the school, a fellow teacher and my senior!”

Myungjun was unfazed, “So what? School directors and teachers have a love life like anyone else… and as to him being your senior, who are you kidding? Do you think everyone who dates are exactly the same age?” He then rolls his eyes and laughs and throws a pillow at Sanha; who realizing that this was a silly point to make, grins and throws the pillow back at him.

At the end of their talk, it was decided to let things take their course, and not to do anything until after school was over. Sanha was still not sure exactly what he was going to do, but that somehow, he had to let Eunwoo know that he was willing to pursue a relationship.

~~ 

The final week of the semester at the Academy was always a busy one, and Monday was no exception. It was during the last teacher’s meeting of the term, that Jinwoo has the pleasure of welcoming Eunwoo back to school since his illness. Eunwoo, stood up and formally thanked everyone for their support and assistance while he was recuperating, with a special thanks to Jinwoo and his teacher’s aides. With a bow and a warm smile, he sat down so the rest of the meeting can continue. Everyone applauded and were impressed that he looked so much better and even a few noticed that he was actually smiling.

After the meeting, several gather around Eunwoo to give them their personal words of welcome and offers of assistance should it be needed. Eunwoo is taken a little aback with the all the kind words and concern shown by the staff and his aides; and he makes a mental note to do something kind for the staff later in the week to show his appreciation. Myungjun was especially kind-hearted in his welcome and even brought a small bouquet of Mimosa flowers for his desk, which touched Eunwoo especially. Sanha silently stood behind Myungjun, but did not say anything, only smiled his welcome. Eunwoo quickly glanced at him with some unease, but also said nothing. The school bell rang, letting everyone know classes were soon to begin, so they all left for their respective classes or offices. 

Eunwoo’s students were happy to see their art teacher again and crowded around to show him their latest sketches for their final projects. Eunwoo is relieved to know that his week long absence did not cause any problems with his student’s progress. So, it is with an easy mind that he worked though his various classes for the day. 

Later that afternoon, Myungjun stopped by to ask if he would be needed for the final touches on his portrait. Eunwoo, had almost forgotten about the regular Monday sessions and after a minute’s consideration, let Myungjun know that he will wait until the next school semester before working on the final touches of his portrait. Myungjun readily agrees and echoes Eunwoo’s thoughts saying, “We have so much to do this week, it would be best postponing to a time when things are not so hectic.” Eunwoo had one additional reason for putting off the work on the portrait, because Sanha usually accompanied Myungjun to the sessions and he is someone he would like to avoid for the time being.

At the end of the day Jinwoo, stopped by Eunwoo’s office and asked if he would like to go out to dinner. Eunwoo declined, “Thanks, but right now, all I would like is a hot bath, and a restful evening.”

Jinwoo carefully asks, “So, no dreams over the weekend?”

“Not a one.” he replied with a grateful smile at Jinwoo’s continued concern.

“I was thinking, now that this is the last week, and a few of the teachers are planning to be away for a good portion of their breaks, how about a movie night later this week. Perhaps Wednesday at my place? I’ve already checked with Bin, Minhyuk and Myungjun and they are all for it. I’ll pick up Bento boxes for everyone, so all we need to do is eat, enjoy the movie and each other’s company.

“And Sanha, will he be coming?”

“I don’t know, he left the school immediately after his last class, so I haven’t had a chance to ask him.” Jinwoo continued, “But if he can’t make it, we will struggle along without him,” he grinned.

Eunwoo, after taking this all in, said, “Sure, it will be great to have everyone together one last time before summer break.”

Eunwoo felt sure that Sanha would decline the gathering as he seemed to be avoiding him the last couple of days. Eunwoo wasn’t sure if he should be happy or upset about it. He was happy that he didn’t have to deal with anything that might distract him during this hectic week; which was proving to be a busy one with final exams in his Western Art History class, arrangements for his student’s artwork to be displayed and evaluated by end of day on Thursday. But on the other hand, he was a little disappointed that Sanha could be taking steps to distance himself from Eunwoo – which was something that he did not want – he knew that now.

Tuesday, for Sanha, was much like Monday in that all the teachers were busy with finals week, and he was no exception. He assigned each of his students a song to memorize and present on Thursday for his vocals class and his afternoon schedule was filled with his guitar class students, presenting their final works individually throughout the afternoon.

Jinwoo did stop by, asking if he wanted to join him and a few of the teachers for a last casual gathering at his place for a movie night the following day. After hearing who was attending, his first impulse was to refuse, but after thinking about it, he would not be alone with Eunwoo and he really did enjoy the company of his friends and fellow teachers. “Sure, I’ll be happy to come.” Jinwoo was pleased and asked him to think about what movie he would like to see. Everyone was allowed one movie to suggest, the only stipulations being it could not be longer than 2 hours and, at Myungjun’s insistence, could not be a horror movie.

Sanha offered to bring drinks, but Jinwoo politely declined, saying food and drink was taken care of. Time of the gathering was 6:30 pm with the film starting promptly at 7:00 pm., so everyone can get home at a decent hour.

The next day at school went smoothly and the teachers were looking forward to getting together for a pleasant evening. As each person arrived at Jinwoo’s place, they were all asked to seat themselves in Jinwoo’s spacious dining room. Fortunately for Eunwoo, although Sanha was there, he was able to keep a comfortable distance and were seated at opposite sides of the large table. When all had arrived, Jinwoo soon brought out the bento boxes and everyone selected their favorites from the various offerings. Myungjun and Bin were high spirits, joking around and sharing their bento box contents – as Myungjun disliked seafood and Bin, rarely a picky eater, was avoiding raw onions and peppers. 

Jinwoo had everyone write their movie selection on separate strips of paper and placed them into a box. The titles were then pulled out one by one and read aloud. The last one in the box was the movie they would watch. The selections were wide and varied, from Hollywood musicals to Korean comedies. The merits of each movie were discussed during dinner, making for an animated and entertaining start to the evening. The final movie to be drawn from the box was Minhyuk’s choice - _Billy Elliott._ Bin was the only other person to have seen this British made film, which told the story of a young boy growing up poor, who wanted to learn ballet, despite his father’s objections. Immediately after dinner, everyone went into the living room and found a comfortable seat on the large couch or armchairs. Jinwoo having supplied everyone with popcorn and soft drinks, downloaded the movie and sat down on the couch to watch the film.

It was a little after 9:00 pm when the film was finished, everyone commented how they thoroughly enjoyed the movie and its uplifting story. Minhyuk and Bin were the first to leave, while Sanha and Myungjun were staying behind to help clean up. Eunwoo, while putting on his light jacket was having trouble with one sleeve as it was tangled inside out; seeing this, Sanha stepped forward and pulled the errant sleeve right side out and smoothed the shoulders of the jacket as Eunwoo pulled the front zipper closed. Eunwoo, feeling Sanha’s hands on his shoulders, began to color, and stepping aside, hastily thanked him for his help. Sanha, calmly responded with a gentle smile, “You’re welcome.” His words, however, were also accompanied by an affectionate squeeze on his arm, and a momentary heartfelt look of reassurance. 

Feeling nervous and not wanting to remain too long in Sanha’s disconcerting presence, Eunwoo quickly opened the door and with a rushed “Goodbye, Jinwoo,” to his host, exited the apartment.

Sanha was thankful to have had an opportunity to communicate with Eunwoo even in such a small way, that all was fine and there was no problem or discomfort on his part. He then turned his attention to clearing the bottles in the living room and helping in the kitchen. Later, when they prepared to leave, Jinwoo was at the door and gave Sanha a warm hug of thanks and goodbye, but even though Myungjun was standing next to Sanha, he only said a hurried word of thanks to him and opened the door to show them out. Once outside, Myungjun, a little miffed that Sanha got a warm ‘thank you’ and a hug while he was almost snubbed, said to Sanha, “Have I got the plague or something that Jinwoo ignored me most of the evening?”

“Did he?”

“Yup. But, oh well – I’m kind of used to it now.” Myungjun gave his head a little shake and continued on his walk home with Sanha. He soon regained his good mood and asked if they could watch the movie, _Yesterday_ , sometime over the weekend. The movie was Sanha’s choice and he had been thinking about the film lately, wanting to see it again. “Would you be fine with asking the others if they wanted to see it with us this Sunday?”

Myungjun nodded his head and with a look of stubbornness, declared, “Sure, and if no one else can come, we can see it on our own.” He quickly added, “Oh, and let’s order in Kimbap.”


	10. Smiling at Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She perfectly described the spirit the work by quoting Viola in Shakespeare’s play Twelfth Night, saying, “She sat like Patience on a Monument, smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?” Eunwoo was much taken with the words, ‘Smiling at grief.’ How true that was – recalling Edward’s last moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter in comparison with past chapters, so added this along with Chapter 9 on the same day. Hope you enjoy!  
> \----------------------------------------------------------- -

Friday finally arrived, with its busy Open House and Exhibition at the Academy.

After the teacher’s morning briefing, the entire school prepared for the arrival of the parents to view the classrooms and the student’s work. Jinwoo was very pleased with the turnout and saw the classrooms filled with happy students and admiring parents. The music recitals commenced with presentations by the students at the exhibition hall, individual presentations in singing, piano and guitar, all of which were warmly applauded by the parents and guests. After the student’s presentations, the final musical performance was given by Sanha and Myungjun, much to the delight of the students and guests.

A buffet lunch is served in the auditorium and although crowded, everyone was able to be seated. Bin’s girlfriend, Minrae arrived and introductions are made to his fellow teachers. Minrae is on the tall side, with long dark brown hair and very striking in black with a red tailored jacket. During the introductions it was discovered that she taken an English Literature and Music degree from Seoul University. Eunwoo was pleased to see that Bin was proud, happy and very caring toward her. 

Minhyuk’s guest, Lee Haewon, arrived soon after and was introduced by Minhyuk, stating that she worked as a Senior Production Assistant for a local film studio. She was a former classmate of his from Seoul University and is well spoken, intelligent and had a charming personality. Although a little shy at first, it was obvious that she admired Minhyuk and held on to his arm during the introductions. Haewon is pretty, with reddish brown hair and a dimpled smile; and although not an official girlfriend, Minhyuk had hopes that things will progress in that direction.

The art exhibition followed lunch, and soon the art students and their parents arrived to tour the student’s arts studio and viewed their artwork. Their works were displayed on easels around the perimeter of the spacious studio. Displayed in a smaller separate room was artwork produced by the teacher’s aides and by Eunwoo. The artwork was varied, two sculptures, various abstract works, two landscapes; one which depicts the Gyeongbokgung Palace gardens, and the other showed the garden grounds of Haedong Yonggungsa Temple, in Busan.

But the one which received most attention and praise was Eunwoo’s latest work, entitled _Lilacs and Mimosa_. The Victorian era woman, wearing a deep purple velvet gown, carrying a bouquet of Lilacs and Mimosa and walking in a lush garden, filled with various purple and yellow flowers. The woman was strikingly elegant, almost aristocratic. However, the most remarkable features of the painting were her striking gemstone green eyes and melancholy expression on her face, even though she was gently smiling. 

Eunwoo personally showed the work to Bin and Minrae and thought her words upon seeing the painting was the highest compliment he had heard that day. She perfectly described the spirit the work by quoting Viola in Shakespeare’s play _Twelfth Night,_ saying, “She sat like Patience on a Monument, smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?” Eunwoo was much taken with the words, ‘Smiling at grief.’ How true that was – recalling Edward’s last moments.

Myungjun’s reaction was quite different - he thought without a doubt that the painting resembled Sanha. So much so that he immediately asked Eunwoo when he began the painting. Eunwoo’s response astonished him when he replied, “I began the work last fall at the start of the school year.” Confused, Myungjun could only assume that any resemblance to Sanha must be some kind of strange coincidence, because Sanha had met everyone when he began teaching in February. 

Jinwoo, naturally had mixed feelings regarding ‘Lilacs and Mimosa.’ He knew the history of the woman in the garden and was stunned when he gazed at the face in the painting - there was much more to this portrait that could be seen at first glance. Moreover, he also knew there was no way Eunwoo could have painted this in less than a week since he returned home, so was completely baffled.

Sanha, unexpectantly, had an entirely different reaction than anyone else. Having seen the painting before in its unfinished state, he was curious to see what the woman would look like. Unlike Myungjun, he did not see anything like a personal resemblance, but what he does see is an eerie resemblance to a photograph he had seen in a book long ago. 

The final program of the day were the dance performances. The presentations by the students were joyful and enthusiastic, with multiple dance styles being demonstrated, from ballet to hip-hop. After the student performances were finished, Bin and Minhyuk performed the last event of the day. Their [jazz routine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFxZCNcRf4E) performed to the music of Benny Goodman’s _Sing Sing Sing_ was flawless. The audience loudly applauded, including Minrae and Haewon who sat together during their performance and were quickly becoming good friends. 

By five pm, almost all the guests and students had left the Academy. Several teachers and staff remained late to help put away equipment and to assist in cleanup. One hour later, to the delight of the staff and aides, several hot pizzas along with salads and drinks were brought in for everyone to enjoy. When they asked who provided the unexpected treat, Jinwoo announced it was Eunwoo, as a gesture of thanks for all they have done for the open house and for their support while he was on sick leave. Everyone expressed their gratitude to both Eunwoo and Jinjin for the meal, and before long everybody had eaten and finished the cleanup. By nightfall everyone had left, and the school finally closed its doors for the four-week summer break.


	11. Myungjun's Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, as if in a daze, Myungjun closes the door and walks into the dining room, sits down and quickly covers his mouth with both hands, not quite believing what had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters in this story. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did in writing it. And as always, comments & kudos are greatly appreciated. <3  
> \--------------------------------------------------------------- -

The day after the concert, Jinwoo slept in and after a late breakfast had resolved to go to the school to clean up his office, and to bring home some papers he would need during the school break to complete the student’s evaluations. The day was warm, bright and clear when he arrived at school and was comfortably dressed in blue denim jeans and a white camp shirt. He entered his office and after organizing his desk, he put the evaluation sheets into his backpack, and locking his office door began to walk down the school corridor towards the front entrance. 

Off the distance, he could hear a piano playing in another part of the building and went to investigate. As he approached the music room, he heard the piano playing and recognized Myungjun’s voice. Standing by the doorway so he could listen, he peered into the door’s window and gazed at Myungjun’s profile as he was singing a sad sweet song in Japanese. Waiting until the song ended, Jinwoo tapped on the door and entered, saying pleasantly, “I hope I’m not intruding. But why are you here on a Saturday? You should be out enjoying your time off.”

Myungjun felt a little embarrassed at unknowingly being observed singing, but quickly hid any shyness and ignoring Jinwoo’s questions, asked if he liked the song. Jinwoo, after considering for a few seconds, answered, “It sounded like a wistful and sad song, yet the music was uplifting. What is it called?”

Myungjun replied a little sadly, “[ _Ue o Muite Arukou_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C35DrtPlUbc)” or, in English, “ _I Look Up as I Walk_.” It is about a man recalling his happier spring days, but is now alone and as he walks, looks up at the stars so his tears don’t fall.”

Jinwoo, stepping closer, sees that tears had formed in Myungjun’s eyes. With immediate concern, he asks gently – “Is this song so distressful that it brings you close to tears?”

Taking a deep breath and nodding his head, Myungjun quietly replied, “This song does make me melancholy, especially after I had discovered that the composer-singer of the song, Kyu Sakamoto, died tragically, leaving his wife and two young daughters alone. I can’t help but think of them when I sing his song.” He looked up at Jinwoo with tears still glistening in his eyes.

Looking into Myungjun’s dark eyes, Jinwoo felt a strong emotional pull at his heart and resisting a strong urge to embrace and comfort him, instead sat down on the piano bench next to him. Jinwoo looked down at his hands and nervously turning his small star sapphire ring around his finger, confided, “I have the same reaction when I hear certain songs too, like the ballad from _Umbrellas of Cherbourg._ ” He hesitated for a moment, but continued, “I’m not sure if you recall, but when I saw the poster in your home, I suddenly felt unwell and had to leave. It was because I vividly recalled the song, “ _I Will Wait for You_ ”’ and it upset me deeply for some reason.” Looking at Myungjun, he said in a tentative tone, “But it was not only the song… but there was also something else.”

Jinwoo, hesitating for a long moment, “It was you. You reminded me of something, or rather, _someone._ It was like a kind of Déjà vu-like experience. I was so shocked and confused; I never had that kind of reaction before.”

Myungjun turned his head to face Jinwoo, and gazing at him curiously said with resolve, “Jinwoo, look at me and please answer truthfully. Déjà vu associations aside, what… what do you feel when you see _me_?”

Jinwoo, was confused for a second, but raised his head and found that Myungjun’s eyes were looking directly into his own. He saw his beautiful dark hair, a few strands falling over one eye, his clear skin with a faint blush on his cheeks, and rich pink lips under a perfectly shaped nose. He looked again into his eyes and saw a questioning look in his gaze. Jinwoo then looked down to avoid Myungjun’s eyes, and taking a deep breath, quietly said, “I think you know.”

Smiling, Myungjun took Jinwoo’s hand, slowly raised it to his own face and laid it against his cheek, and murmured “This?”

Looking up again and seeing Myungjun’s intense eyes and warm smile, Jinwoo raised his free hand and tenderly placed it on his other cheek, and leaning forward, cautiously kissed Myungjun with a soft brush of the lips, filling them both with tender warmth and happiness. Pulling gently away and still gazing into Myungjun’s eyes, Jinwoo smiled gently, “Yes.” 

Myungjun then pulled Jinwoo closer and their lips met again. This time, there was no hesitation, as they fell into each other arms like they were always meant to be there. Together. Always.

~~

Hand in hand, they exited the Academy, loading the school materials into Jinwoo’s car. There was little opportunity for conversation as Jinwoo drove the short distance to Myungjun’s home. Helping to carry Myungjun’s student’s workbooks into his apartment and depositing them on the dining room table, Jinwoo squeezed Myungjun’s hand and with a gentle embrace, turned to depart.

Myungjun however held his hand tightly, not wanting him to leave so quickly, there was still so much to say. Jinwoo was happy to remain a little longer, and followed him into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Myungjun, not content with simply sitting beside him, affectionately leaned against his shoulder. Jinwoo, raised his arm so that Myungjun could tuck himself against his chest, and placed his arm around his waist drawing him even closer. He could feel Myungjun’s warmth and taking a deep breath, looked down at Myungjun. “I would like to tell you something of my history that you may not know.” Taking Myungjun’s hand into his own, he continued reflectively. “I was in a relationship about four years ago. She… she was lovely and charming, and everything you think one would want in a partner. We were together for several months, but - it didn’t turn out well. Because… even from the start, I knew that she loved me far more than I did her. I thought – I hoped – time would bring me to a deeper love, a connection – but it never happened. I knew I was doing wrong if I kept on pretending things were perfect. So, I finally put an end the affair, she was terribly hurt; I felt horrible and blamed myself. After that I avoided romance for a long time.” He paused and looked directly into Myungjun’s eyes, “But you - with you, it was so different. I was immediately drawn to you; the attraction was so strong. I tried to suppress my feelings and kept you at a distance, but it became more and more difficult every time I saw you, and especially when you were near. Today, I just could no longer resist.” With these words he kissed Myungjun’s forehead and drew him closer.

Myungjun smiled warmly and looked up at Jinwoo. “I felt that too, especially when I first arrived and met you in person. But you kept avoiding me, so I thought… no interest. I tried, like you, to ignore my feelings but I soon found that my heart couldn’t move on. Whenever you were near or I heard your voice, I would get nervous and all my feelings would go on alert. I thought at times that you were watching me and I could sense your uneasiness; but I couldn’t read your face and you never said a word. If anything, to me you appeared only businesslike and distant. So, I continued to try to hide my feelings, thinking it was my own stupid one-sided love.” Looking up a Jinwoo, he sighed and continued, “But what you said today, gave me hope, and when you kissed me – I knew.” Jinwoo kissed him gently on the cheek and they continued to sit quietly together for the next several minutes, lost in thought, and their hearts full.

Their reverie was finally broken by the sound of keys unlocking the front door. Myungjun’s first impulse was to get up, but Jinwoo’s arm held him in place and looking down at him, shook his head. Sanha entered, carrying two large bags of groceries and not seeing them, walked straight into the kitchen to put the food away. After a minute Jinwoo, with a grin, nudges Myungjun. Giggling, Myungjun then called out from the living room, “Hey Sanha, we have a visitor.”

Stepping into the room, Sanha at once sees Myungjun cuddled against Jinwoo, both smiling at Sanha, who had stopped in midstride almost tripping over his own feet. Sanha after a few moments realizes his mouth is open, clears his throat and says with a grin, “Hey Jinwoo – good to see you.”

“Great to see you too, Sanha.”

After throwing Myungjun a look, he asks Jinwoo, “Would you like to stay for lunch or shall I, ah, make myself scarce?”

Jinwoo at this point releases Myungjun and standing up, replied with a grin, “No need to go anywhere, I ought to head out anyway,” and glancing at Myungjun with an apologetic smile, said “I have work to do at home.”

Sanha, replied with emphasis, “Okay, but please - feel free to stop by anytime.” And with a self-conscious smile, immediately retreats to the kitchen. 

Myungjun walks Jinwoo to the door, and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, opens the door for him. Jinwoo however, ignores the open door and unlike his earlier kiss, wraps his arm around Myungjun’s waist and brings him into a close embrace, while quickly placing his free hand on the nape of Myungjun’s neck as he pulls him into a long, slow, passionate kiss; leaving Myungjun both stunned and a little unsteady. After releasing him, Jinwoo then walks out the door and down the hall; midway he turns to see Myungjun standing by the door and with a grin, raises his hand to mimic a phone and mouths ‘I’ll call you,’ and turning, continues walking to his car.

Slowly, as if in a daze, Myungjun closes the door and walks into the dining room, sits down and quickly covers his mouth with both hands, not quite believing what had just happened.

. . . .

Sanha called out a few minutes after hearing the door close. “Myungjun, have you had lunch yet?”

“No, but I’m not very hungry.”

“We were out of fresh vegetables, so I picked up a few at the market. How about something light? I’m making steamed rice with a few fresh vegetables, and it will only take a few minutes to make.”

“Sure, that should be fine.”

Sanha walks into the dining room and sees his roommate seated and looking flustered. “Of course, you know we need talk soon, especially after…” and he nods at the door with a grin. “But, if your rather not, it’s okay. But I’m naturally dying of curiosity about you and Jinwoo. _That_ is something I didn’t see coming – at all.”

Myungjun giggled and replied with a smile, “To tell the truth, neither did I.”


	12. Sanha's Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eunwoo’s head quickly turned to look at the portrait. He stared and colored as the slow realization that what Jinwoo had said was true. He raised his hand to his forehead and covered his eyes. Slowly he shook his head, “Oh my god, you’re right.”  
> \------------------------------------------------ -

Sanha realizes how happy Myungjun has become, not by anything he says, but by the way he was acting during lunch; becoming unnaturally quiet, distracted and by how he wears a constant smile on his face, accompanied by fleeting sighs of contentment. After hearing the story of how they were both were suffering unnecessarily for months until they finally spoke of the love they hid from each other, Sanha knew he needed to talk to Eunwoo. School was on break, so now was the best time for both. 

While they were clearing up the table after their late lunch, Sanha asked, “Are you still up for a movie night with the teachers tomorrow?”

“Of course. I have been looking forward to seeing _Yesterday_ , since it came out last year.” His eyes were sparking, “It will also give me an opportunity to see my handsome Jinwoo again.”

With a conspiratorial grin, Sanha winked and replied, “It may be a chance for me to talk to Eunwoo too. I’ll send a text now and let’s see who can come.”

~~

Saturday afternoon found Eunwoo sitting on his couch contemplating the past week. He leaned back and thought about Sanha’s farewell to him at Jinwoo’s. At the time he was nervous, but Sanha’s actions were enough to convince him that he was willing to recognize his own feelings toward him. He knew that Sanha’s subsequent actions during the week, as well as the occasional glimpses of him on Friday, that he was being kind-hearted and keeping his distance, allowing Eunwoo a chance to communicate when and if he was ready.

Eunwoo resolved to talk with Sanha and see how things could go forward. Despite that awkward beginning, Eunwoo realized that he should try to follow his heart, but he needed to be sure of himself – as this was all so new to him. He also understood that he was not a love stuck teenager and that _attraction_ was only the first step of any loving relationship. Happily, he also knows that theirs was the best type; because attraction could be of the mind, of the body, or of the heart. He was certain, based on how he felt, that theirs was of the heart. 

~~

Sanha sent a group text to all the teachers asking if they were up to seeing a movie Sunday evening at his place. The film has already been picked out by Myungjun and is to be _Yesterday_ with Hamesh Patel. Showtime is 6:00 pm, and they would provide food and drink.

Soon responses came, first from Bin and Minhyuk. Bin and Minhyuk sent their regrets as they were taking their girlfriends to the Hansik food festival. Bin explained in his text that it would be his last chance to see her before she left on her Summer Symphony tour. Sanha texts back saying to give the Minrae and Haewon their best and was sorry that they couldn’t make it.

When Eunwoo received Sanha’s text, he thought this might be a good opportunity to see Sanha, and a casual gathering of friends would be a good time for a brief conversation.

He texted back that he was free to attend and if he can bring anything to share for dinner. Sanha texted back, that if he could bring a dessert to share that would be welcome. Putting his phone down and smiling, Eunwoo sat back and knew he was taking his first step.

Jinwoo also texted that he would be able to come and had agreed to provide the beverages. He texted, “Who else is coming?”

Sanha texted back, “Just the four of us, Bin and Minhyuk already had plans. I will be you, me, Myungjun and Eunwoo.” Signing off with his thanks, Jinwoo locked his phone.

Once acknowledged, Jinwoo was not one to conceal his affections. Knowing that Eunwoo would be at Sanha’s on Sunday, he thought it best if he told his best friend in advance about his new relationship with Myungjun. Fortunately, he was having dinner at Eunwoo’s home that evening, so resolved to let him know that evening.

Promptly arriving at six, Jinwoo was just in time to help set the table. Eunwoo began place the grilled beef, rice into serving dishes, along with various vegetable banchan side dishes. Conversation began casually enough with Jinwoo asking how his friend was planning to spend his time over the summer break. Eunwoo, with an air of regret, said that Italy was going to have to wait until the following summer. “But, I have received an invitation to visit San Francisco for a week. However, I’m thinking that a tour of a few South Korean temples might be a better option.” Smiling, he continued, “All I want to do is sketch, paint and relax this summer.” Glancing at his friend he asked, “What are your plans?”

Jinwoo casually responded that his plans were still up in the air, but that he might go to Incheon to see Sanha’s and Myungjun’s performance at the summer festival. “I was also thinking of visiting one of the beach resorts to relax and perhaps go fishing.” 

“Perhaps you could join me at Naksan beach if our schedules coincide?” 

With a hesitant smile, Jinwoo looked at Eunwoo and said, “I’ll have to check with Myungjun first. I'm thinking we will likely spend part of the summer together.”

Eunwoo responded with mild surprise, “Oh really? I didn’t know that you and Myungjun had become such good friends.”

“Ah, yes.” He smiled, and looked steadily at Eunwoo, and said, “We are a now little bit more than friends.”

With a spoon of broth halfway to his mouth, Eunwoo stopped and set the spoon down in his soup bowl with a clang. Staring at Jinwoo, his eyes widening, “Did I catch that right, you and Myungjun?”

Jinwoo, now wearing a shy grin, nodded. Eunwoo, with a broad smile exclaimed, “Oh my god, I’m so – so happy for you!” He wasn’t sure what to do first, get a bottle of champagne to celebrate or to give Jinwoo a hug, so he did both. Jumping up, gave Jinwoo a hug and immediately went into the kitchen for glasses and champagne. He gave a glass to Jinwoo and filled both glasses with his favorite French Champagne. “I’m so happy that you have found someone. Myungjun is a wonderful and talented person, you are so lucky – heck, he’s lucky too.” He sat down and holding his glass up, and with a beaming smile, quietly and sincerely said, “To your happiness.” and with a clink of the glasses and both grinning, drank the champagne.

Eunwoo eventually asked, “How did this come about, I didn’t know you were even interested in a relationship after your last venture?”

In a few words, Jinwoo revealed that he had been attracted to Myungjun since he was hired the previous year but suppressed his feelings. He only found out recently that Myungjun felt the same way, and rest followed very quickly. 

When they finished dining, Eunwoo suggested that they have coffee in the living room. Jinwoo agreed and cleared the table while Eunwoo put the espresso machine on and quickly made two lattes. Jinwoo, seated himself in one of the two armchairs, and saw the ‘Lilacs and Mimosa’ painting in the living room, resting against the wall where Eunwoo had placed it when he returned from yesterday’s open house. “Are you planning to hang your painting in this room?”

“I thought about it, but it really doesn’t quite work in this room. I don’t plan to sell it through a gallery, but thought perhaps to hang it in my bedroom, or the guest room.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this work, when I first saw it yesterday.” Jinwoo paused and took a deep breath and looked directly at Eunwoo. “Please hear me out. I believe this work might represent your vision of the woman in your, or should I say, Edward’s past.” Carefully, he then posed a question. “Did you begin this work back in February when your dreams began, and could your work on this painting be the trigger that Dr. Cho was looking to find?”

After a long thoughtful pause Eunwoo replied, “To be honest, I have to say yes and no. I began this work last winter, when the idea and my first sketches were made – months before the dreams began, so the painting couldn’t have been a trigger to the nightmares.” He then thought for a few seconds and continued, “But strangely enough the image was the same as revealed during the sessions, and they did help me to finally put a face to her.”

“But Eunwoo, don’t you see the resemblance?”

“What resemblance?” Eunwoo answered in confusion.

Jinwoo responded carefully, “To Sanha.”

Eunwoo’s head quickly turned to look at the portrait. He stared and colored as the slow realization that what Jinwoo had said was true. He raised his hand to his forehead and covered his eyes. Slowly he shook his head, “Oh my god, you’re right.” Looking up at Jinwoo he continued, “I thought when I painted her eyes that the color reminded someone outside of the therapy session. But I couldn’t place where.”

He looked at the face again, and realized that although the likeness was not exact, it was close enough that Jinwoo’s statement was obviously true. He stood up in agitation and began to pace the room, his face deep in thought. Jinwoo now spoke slowly and deliberately while looking at his friend the entire time. “I think, and I’m sorry to say this, that Sanha was your nightmare trigger. You possibly don’t remember this, but that day when you collapsed in front of Sanha and Myungjun, Sanha was wearing contact lenses in that same green colour.” Eunwoo stopped in his pacing and stared at Jinwoo with a look of astonishment. 

Seeing a look of unease in Eunwoo’s face, Jinwoo then said in a calming tone, “The fact that Sanha resembles the lady in your therapy session couldn’t be a mere coincidence – just like the eye color.” Jinwoo now paused and said thoughtfully, recalling Dr. Cho’s comments. “So, knowing what, or rather who, was the spark that started these dreams should no longer be a mystery to you now.”

Eunwoo stopped his pacing and sat down - but was still visibly concerned. He looked at Jinwoo’s worried face and pulling himself together, put aside his thoughts of his evolving relationship with Sanha. “You’re probably right, it has to be more than a mere coincidence that they resemble each other. But, if you recall, Dr. Cho did say that the people in my vision may have been an amalgam of different people I may have met in the past – perhaps this could be proof of that?”

Jinwoo shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps. We have no real evidence of Edward’s existence, or of anyone in your vision either.” But even as he said this, he was still not convinced that it was a ‘made up’ past memory and knew that Eunwoo wasn’t convinced either.

After a couple of minutes and much more calmly, Eunwoo asked, “Did anyone else at the school see a resemblance to Sanha?”

Jinwoo thought about it and replied, “I don’t think so, no one mentioned it to me.”

“I hope Sanha didn’t see a resemblance. It would be rather embarrassing to him - and to me, if he thought I secretly used him as a model for this work.”

Jinwoo, now realized another reason why Eunwoo was still so concerned with this revelation. He immediately said, “I don’t think that would be the case. Like you said earlier – the resemblance may be mere chance. Sanha knows that if you wanted him to model, you would have simply asked him directly.”

“That is true. Besides, why would I ever ask a six-foot man to pose as a Victorian woman?” He smiled ruefully, “Thanks – that puts things in better perspective.” After staring at the painting for a full minute, Eunwoo quickly rises and without a word, picks up the painting and puts it into his guest room. Closing the bedroom door, he walks back to the living room and picking up his coffee, takes a long drink. 

Turning to Jinwoo, he smiles thoughtfully, “Perhaps I really need a change of scenery. A trip to San Francisco, may be the perfect getaway from,” he pauses and waving his hand in air, “everything.” Eunwoo now finds the prospect of a trip to be exactly what he needs – a much needed change to get some perspective on what has been going on his life over the last few weeks. He is thinking this may be the very thing he needs right now.

They talked a little longer but as 10:00 pm struck, Jinwoo rose and said he had to head home, “I’ve had a long day and need to be on my way. I’ll see you tomorrow at Myungjun’s.” Eunwoo walked him to his car and waving a goodbye, slowly walked back into his home and closed the door. Upon entering his living room, he turns down the lights, ambles toward his stereo, pulls out his CD of American Classics and cues Tony Bennett’s [_I Left My Heart in San Francisco_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7RDIlzCJaQ) _._ He then lay down on his spacious couch and gently falls asleep - even before the last lyric is sung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos. More of the past life mystery and present life romance to come. Should he go to SF or stay in SK? I can't quite decide - sigh... <33


	13. Yesterday and Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hearing the lyrics, Eunwoo is reminded of the day, not long ago, that he first realized he had feelings for Sanha. As the music plays in the darkened living room, he pauses and looks up away from the screen, closing his eyes to let the words and music wash over him – allowing him to empathically feel the emotion in the words.
> 
> “The wild and windy night  
> That the rain washed away  
> Has left a pool of tears  
> Crying for the day  
> Why leave me standing here?  
> Let me know the way"

Sunday afternoon found Myungjun furiously cleaning the apartment while Sanha went to the local store for fresh fruit and strawberries. Sanha had a fondness for strawberries, especially when dropped into a glass of Champagne. He believed this would be a special way to toast the successful end of his first Academy semester as a teacher, and the end of the school year.

After assuring himself that the house was spotless, Myungjun showers and is dressed in plenty of time to greet Jinwoo and Eunwoo for their movie night. Myungjun wanted to look especially nice for Jinwoo, taking particular care in styling his hair, and using his favorite and most expensive cologne. The roommates were both excited and nervous but pleased that everything was set up and ready. The doorbell rang and the delivery of fresh kimbap arrived, along with kimchi and sliced pickled radish and ginger slices. Sanha arranged these in trays to be set out in the living room for casual dining during the movie.

Jinwoo is the first to arrive, bringing a small cake made with fresh summer berries. After handing the cake to Sanha to put into the kitchen, he immediately greets Myungjun with a warm hug, who leads him to the same spot on the couch where they were seated the day before. Myungjun, after cuddling for a few minutes, got up saying he had host responsibilities and needed to help Sanha in the kitchen. Jinwoo gave an exaggerated pout but lets him go, saying with a grin as he pats the seat next to him, “I’ll save this special place for you.” Myungjun rolls his eyes and with a laugh, left to join his roommate in the kitchen.

Standing up, Jinwoo looked about the room and sees the “Umbrellas of Cherbourg” poster, which he had purposefully avoided the day before, and walks up to view it closer. Testing himself, he finds that he doesn’t experience anything like he did months ago – no pounding headache, throbbing sounds or singing. The only thing he hears is Myungjun’s cheerful laugh coming from the kitchen, and immediately felt a warm sensation rising in his chest. He closes his eyes to concentrate on the reaction and the only word he could find to describe it was _home._ Suddenly, he feels an arm wrap around his waist as Myungjun pulls him into a comforting hug. Jinwoo returns the embrace and feels the warmth in his heart swiftly flowing through his whole body, filling him with happiness. Myungjun looks at the poster and slowly turns to Jinwoo and seeing the serenity in his eyes, kisses him gently on the cheek; and just as quietly as he came, turns, and walks back into the kitchen. Jinwoo, drops his head down and slowly shakes it, silently thanking whatever gods that may be out there, for bringing Myungjun into his life.

Soon thereafter, Eunwoo arrives and is met at the door by Sanha, who welcomes him with a warm smile. He hands him a brightly beribboned box, his contribution to the dinner. Sanha opens the box, his eyes growing wide at the beautifully crafted truffles and bonbons. The rich scent of dark and milk chocolate fills his senses, and he looks up at Eunwoo and gives him a grateful smile. “These look delicious, I hope you didn’t go out of your way to get these.” Eunwoo merely shakes his head but acknowledges the compliment with a smile. 

He soon joins Jinwoo in the living room and takes a seat in a comfortable armchair. “Hey, good to see you after all this time,” he comments sarcastically. “So, what’s this movie about?” But before Jinwoo can answer, Myungjun walks in from the kitchen, asking what they would like to drink. Eunwoo asks if they have cider, and Jinwoo chimes in, “Make that two ciders”. Smiling, Myungjun returns shortly with two tall glasses of cold iced lemon cider. Jinwoo begins to get up saying, “I really should be helping you set up.”

Myungjun shakes his head with a grin. “It’s our treat to have company. Anyway, we are almost done and will join you in a couple of minutes.”

Soon two trays of kimbap and the chocolates are on the coffee table. Sanha queues up the movie, dims the lights and takes a seat in the other armchair. Myungjun is seated next to Jinwoo, affectionally leaning against his arm and holding his hands as the movie begins. Sanha looks fondly at the couple and then glances at Eunwoo, who, when seeing his smile, gives a small smile in return.

The movie _‘Yesterday’_ is a fantasy, where a musician wakes up to a world that had never heard of the Beatles. So, he takes it upon himself to reintroduce the songs and music to the world. Not only is the music of the Beatles incredible, but the lyrics are sheer poetry. During one scene he sings “The Long and Winding Road’, which resonates in both Sanha the musician and Eunwoo the music lover with its words of sadness and hope. 

Hearing the lyrics, Eunwoo is reminded of the day, not long ago, that he first realized he had feelings for Sanha. As the music plays in the darkened living room, he pauses and looks up away from the screen, closing his eyes to let the words and music wash over him – allowing him to empathically feel the emotion in the words.

[ _“The wild and windy night  
That the rain washed away  
Has left a pool of tears  
Crying for the day  
Why leave me standing here?  
Let me know the way”_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfrbu9Enhxs)

Sanha, is also touched by the song and at hearing the chorus refrain, cannot but feel that the words are speaking directly to him.

_“But still they lead me back  
To the long winding road  
You left me standing here  
A long, long time ago  
Don't keep me waiting here  
Lead me to your door”_

He finds he cannot help but stare intently at Eunwoo’s profile as the last two lines of song are sung.

When the scene ends, they both shift uncomfortably in their seats, but they don’t dare to look around the room; both fearing what their flushed faces might reveal.

Eventually when the credits finally roll, Sanha stands up, stretches, and immediately gathers the half empty trays of food into the kitchen. Eunwoo rises from his chair and walks into the kitchen and asks if he could help in any way. With a gesture toward the bucket of ice where a bottle of champagne is chilling, “You can open the champagne and fill the glasses.” While he fills the glasses Sanha steps forward with a small bowl of strawberries, selecting the best ones and adds one to each of the three of the champagne flutes sitting on the counter. He looks at Eunwoo and arching one eyebrow asks, “Strawberry?”

Eunwoo, nods and says with a grin, “Just like in the movies.” To which Sanha chuckles appreciatively and adds one to the fourth glass. 

Myungjun enters and unboxes the cake and takes it into the living room. The champagne glasses are distributed and together they raise their glasses in a friendly toast to each other with a simple nod of their heads. After they all drink Jinwoo set his glass down, and smiling says, “I know we all want to extend our best wishes to Sanha and Myungjun for a successful end to their first year at the academy, and for their upcoming performance at the Incheon Music Festival.” Glasses were again raised and are clinked together in their honor. In the brief pause in the conversation that followed, he asked a question to the group at large. “So, what are everyone’s plans during the summer break?”

Myungjun is the first to respond. “Well, so everyone knows, Jinjin and I will be seeing some of the sights up and down the coast – I want to really enjoy the summer and relax at the beach.” 

Jinwoo quickly added with a grin. “I plan to do some fishing as well. Although I’m not sure if Myungjun will join me.” 

Myungjun quickly responded in a snarky tone, “Of course I’ll join you, if only to be sure you don’t fall in.” Everyone laughs at this, Jinwoo most of all.

Jinwoo then gestured to Eunwoo. “You’re next. So, what are your plans for the break? I recall you mentioned perhaps traveling to San Francisco.”

“Well, nothing is certain yet, but I have been invited to spend a week with a friend from my Berkeley days.” He added, “But I won’t be going right away, perhaps in a week or two. There are things I need to take care of before I leave.” He smiled and gave a quick but thoughtful glance at Sanha.

After popping a chocolate truffle into his mouth, Jinwoo smiled at Sanha. “Are you going anywhere after the Incheon Festival?

Sanha felt a little awkward, but knew he was going to be asked so had a chance to prepare his response. “Me? I plan to visit my grandfather for a few days, after that, I’m not really sure – but I do want to work on a new song. So, I will likely stay close to home.” But then he gave a small mischievous laugh, saying, “But, I'm happy as I will finally be able to enjoy some peace and quiet while Myungjun is away.” 

Myungjun quickly replied. “Yah! I know you Sanha. You will likely eat ramen and ice cream all day to your heart’s content, watch sad dramas and will miss my company terribly.” He bats his eyes on the last words, immediately causing Sanha to choke on his piece of cake, while laughing out loud. Myungjun, with a smile of satisfaction on his face, gave a high five to Jinwoo.

Through the laughter, Eunwoo realized that he should be able to meet with Sanha before he leaves for San Francisco, because he is planning to fly shortly after the end of the Incheon Festival. Otherwise, it may be weeks before they have time to meet again. He knew he wanted – no, he _needed_ to talk to him privately. The distraction he was experiencing, even at this casual dinner with friends, was troubling and a challenge on his nerves.

Myungjun suddenly jumped-up exclaiming, “I have a brilliant idea! Let’s all meet at the beach the week before school opens again.” Everyone was smiling at his enthusiasm and nodding in agreement. “Jinjin, what is the place you wanted to go fishing?”

“Pohang Gyeonesang. I’m pretty sure there is a beachfront nearby called Bukbu Beach. There are great restaurants and modern hotels where we can stay. Jinwoo eyes light up with a sudden thought. “If we time it right – we can be there for the International Fireworks Festival.”

At that, Myungjun – clapped his hands and laughed, “We must make this happen, “Eunwoo, Sanha, are you in?”

Sanha, pulls out his phone and quickly checks his phone calendar, “I should be able to make it – all looks clear to me.” He looks up from the phone with a grin, appreciating how close he had become with this group of friends during the short few months he had arrived to teach at the academy.

Eunwoo also agreed that he should be able go. “I should be back from America by then, it sounds like a great getaway.” He thought for a minute. “We should be sure to ask Bin and Minhyuk as well, I know Bin loves visiting the beaches in the summer. – If he can make the time available, I know he will come.”

Jinwoo, finishing up his glass of champagne, “It all sounds good, I’ll check with Bin and Minhyuk and make hotel arrangements. We can firm up transportation details closer to the date.”

With that, Myungjun begins to gather up the plates and Sanha takes up the empty glasses and moves to the kitchen to begin cleaning up, leaving Jinwoo and Eunwoo together to talk. Jinwoo takes a seat next to Eunwoo, shoulder nudges him, and raises his eyebrows in a questioning look.

Eunwoo, looks dubiously at this best friend. “What?”

“I’m not sure if I have this right, but is there something between you and Sanha? You keep looking at each other.” Eunwoo, quickly turns his head away from Jinwoo to hide his uneasiness.

Thinking fast, he recalls the last time they spoke about Sanha and responds carefully. “Nothing really, I told him earlier that I needed to talk to him about the painting. I think you remember why.”

Jinwoo, realizing his best friend just avoided answering directly, chose not to pursue his question further. He understands now that he would have to wait and see if his observations are correct.

Eunwoo got up to leave, thanking Myungjun and Sanha for hosting the movie night. Jinwoo said he planned to stay a bit longer to help with the cleanup. Walking toward the door, Sanha said “I’ll walk Eunwoo to his car.” Eunwoo looked at Sanha in surprise but turned to Jinwoo and wished him a safe journey home. Then, with a quick wave of farewell to Myungjun, he walked out the door that Sanha was holding open for him. They walked quietly downstairs, through the small building lobby and out the entrance door into the warm summer night. As they approached his car, Eunwoo cleared his throat and asked, “Was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Stopping at Eunwoo’s car, Sanha turned to face Eunwoo. “Yes, a couple of things actually.”

Eunwoo with a resigned sigh, replied, “Go on... ask away.”

Sanha smiled at his response but didn’t hesitate to ask his questions. “First, I would like to meet with you to talk about your painting _‘Lilacs and Mimosa’_ sometime next week. Is that possible?" Eunwoo’s head jerked up and was immediately on the defensive, believing he knew what was to come.

“I think I already know what you are going to say.” Eunwoo comments warily.

“No, I don’t believe you do, because I need to double check on something, before I know for sure myself. Once I confirmed it, I would like to talk to you at length, say perhaps next Sunday?”

Eunwoo is a bit confused, but willing to give Sanha the time he needs. “How about dinner at my place, would that work for you?”

Sanha smiled and nodded his head. “Works for me. I just need time to check with my grandfather.”

Eunwoo is confused at Sanha’s reference to his grandfather but continues the conversation to satisfy his own curiosity. “That was your first question, what is your second?”

“Ah, the second question.” He steps close to Eunwoo and looks down at his hands. “This may sound a bit odd but, can I... hold your hands for a minute?”

Eunwoo, a bit embarrassed, but is both curious and emboldened to do this simple thing. It is something he had been imagining himself doing for over two weeks. He slowly raises his hand out in front of him, palm up. Shaking his head, Sanha clarifies his request. “Both hands please.” Without a pause he raises his other hand, also palm up.

A bit nervous himself, Sanha reaches out and takes hold of his hands and takes a step closer. Eunwoo’s hands are warm and soft; then Sanha says very quietly, almost in a whisper. “There - can you feel it? Not just my hands – but something else?”

Eunwoo looked down at their entwined hands and felt a warm shiver go up his spine, almost as if his body had just eased into the water of a warm comforting bath. He looks at Sanha curiously but replies calmly. “Yes. Yes, I do feel it.”

Sanha looks into Eunwoo’s eyes and tilts his head sideways with a satisfied look and a knowing smile. He then quietly drops Eunwoo’s hands. “Thank you. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn’t the only one.” Without another word, he then turns and quietly walks back toward his apartment.

Eunwoo, his mouth agape, looks at Sanha’s tall retreating figure and sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For context, the lyrics aren't actually heard in the movie "Yesterday" as they skipped over these particular lyrics of the song. 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and encouragement! All comments and kudos truly appreciated. <33


	14. Traces of Love Long Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Together they walked downstairs, sitting down in the comfort of the sofa to talk further, but not before his grandfather filled two glasses of chilled white wine, handing one to Sanha, and sat down in a nearby armchair.
> 
> They talked for a while about some of the other things that were in the trunk, pointedly avoiding any discussion regarding the black bordered letter. 
> 
> ========================= =

The following afternoon found Sanha and Myungjun on the train to Incheon for the festival. The plan was to arrive and check into their hotel and get dinner. They weren’t scheduled to perform until the next day at the smaller third stage, where new and up and coming musicians were to perform. They would play two gigs over two days, leaving them free to leave first thing Thursday morning.

The performances went well and were well received. They made a few contacts from potential sponsors for their song, as well as passing out business cards to several young people who wanted to know where they taught.

Jinwoo took his car and joined them on Wednesday, arriving in time to hear their last stage performance. After an early dinner, left with Myungjun to begin their tour along the western coast visiting historic sites and various beach resorts – adding much to Myungjun’s happiness.

Sanha woke up early the following morning and after a light breakfast, checked out of his Incheon hotel in time to catch the mid-morning train to Yangyang-gun. Traveling eastward and through Seoul for the four-hour train ride, he was looking forward to visiting grandfather, Yoon Sanwoo. 

His grandfather’s history as he knew it, was an eventful one. Now nearing 70, he was lively, active, and always in a good humor. He worked as a M.D. with the Korean Army at the UN hospital where he met his future wife, Shannon, who was from the U.K., and worked as a nurse as part of the United Nations Command air base. They met, fell in love, married, and raised two children, the eldest being Sanha’s father. 

Sanha was their only grandson, and had lived with them since he was a little boy, ever since his parents had divorced. His mother taking his sister and moved to the U.S., while his father worked in Busan, only visiting Sanha occasionally. Sanha had fond memories of his late grandmother’s cheerful smile, bright hazel eyes and warm hugs. 

Affectionately, he recalled hot chocolate in the mornings, the scent of cookies baking in the kitchen, afternoon teas and hearing her read stories from a large colourful book of fairy tales for children. 

With these pleasant memories in mind, he exited the train station and caught a taxi, making sure his guitar was safely stowed in the boot of the car. While traveling in the taxi, he rolled down the window a took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the salty sea air that he didn’t realize, until now, how much he missed. He grew impatient as the car finally drove up to his grandfather’s seaside cottage.

The comforting sounds of the ocean waves could be heard as he walked to the front porch of his grandfather’s cottage. He rang the doorbell, pulled out his keys and opened the door. Stepping into the hallway he called out, “Halabeoji, I let myself in!” He put his suitcase and backpack down in the hallway, taking care to safely place his guitar down in the living room. He then walked toward the back of the house in search of his grandfather. 

“Sanha, I’m on the terrace. Come and join me.”

“Coming!” he shouts, and weaves through the wide living room to the back door and stepped onto a broad wooden terrace, almost as wide as the house, overlooking a wide expanse of sandy beach.

His grandfather put down his book and rose to give his grandson a welcoming hug. He stepped back and peered over his reading glasses to get a good look at him. “I can see you are doing well, judging by your grinning face.” He looked up and took a closer look at his grandson’s face and stared at his eyes. “Green? What is this?”

Chuckling, Sanha quickly answered. “Oh, I had almost forgotten I had these lenses on. It’s something I bought for a performance, but I kind of like the way they look.”

Nodding his head, his grandfather waved to the cushioned seat next to him. “Sit, sit. Tell me what is going on with you. Are you liking your new job?”

“Yes, it’s so much better than the school in Manilla. The students were great there, but the director…ugh.” He then smiled and continued, “Where I am now is perfect. Supportive directors, great fellow teachers and bright students. I plan to stay there for a long time.” He paused and politely asked, “So how are you doing – how is life treating you?”

“Good, good. I’m healthy, discovered a new hobby and enjoying my retirement.” After a few minutes’ of general conversation, he stood up and said, “Why don’t you go inside and settle in and I’ll make us some tea and a snack. I know you had a long ride in the train, you should rest up a bit.” Pointing upstairs, he said, “you can stay in the blue bedroom like in the old days.”

“Thanks, grandpa. If it’s not too much trouble, can you make an iced tea for me? I can really use something cold – it’s pretty warm outside. I’ll wash up and will be back downstairs in just a few minutes.” He quickly unpacked enough clothes for this two-day visit, wet his face and combed his unruly windblown hair. He walked downstairs and into the living room, sitting down on the wide sofa and looking about, reacquainted himself to his home away from home.

His grandfather brought in a tray with a pitcher of lemon tea and two tall glasses filled with ice and a plate of small sandwiches on the side. He set them on the coffee table and while still standing said, “So, you wanted to see the book.” Wearing a smile he walked over to a side table and picked up an old-fashioned photo album. Large and heavy, the book appeared to be decades old, adorned with a cover of faded blue velvet with gilded corners. He laid it down in front of Sanha, sat down next to him on the sofa and carefully opened the old antique photo album.

His grandfather searched through a few pages and stopped at a large sepia toned photograph of a lovely woman in her twenties, wearing an elaborate Victorian gown with a delicate lace collar. Her pose is traditional as she is seated in a straight tufted armchair with her back straight, with one hand gracefully touching a necklace at her throat. She has soft features, her mouth reserved, but her eyes held a clear and honest gaze. In her hands she is holding a slim book on her lap with her thumb in the book as if marking her place. Next to her is a tall desk upon which is a small stack of tooled leather-bound books.

Sanha carefully examined the woman’s face. She is wearing a whisper of a smile as she looked straight ahead at the viewer. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head in wonder.

Quietly he pulls out his phone and searches his phone’s photo library, and selecting one, holds it up for his grandfather to see.

“Good god!” he exclaimed, looking at Sanha’s phone and then looking at the photo album. “Where… did you take this?”

Sanha laid his phone down next to the photo. “At my school. A fellow teacher painted this portrait. I saw it last week at it’s unveiling.” Sanha looked again and rubbed his eyes. “I noticed the resemblance the moment I saw it.”

His grandfather echoed his thoughts. “I would swear that your five-times great aunt posed for this.”

Sanha drew his fingers along the gilt edge of the photo. “Yes, my five times great aunt on my grandmother’s English side. Do you know her name?”

“Yes, I believe it’s written on the back.” He pulled the photo out of the album’s paper frame and showed Sanha the reverse side. _‘Shoshana S., aged 26. 1889.’_ After a minute he looked at his grandson and smiled. “Your grandmother and I always thought you looked like her.” He then added thoughtfully. “Curious that your sister took after my side of the family, Jaeha doesn’t look a thing like her.”

Sanha is now burning with curiosity and with urgency in his voice, quickly asked, “Please tell me what you know about her.”

“She has an interesting and sad story.” He paused to refill his glass with iced tea and without asking, refilled Sanha’s glass as well.

“Please, tell me.”

“She was raised in wealth and privilege in England. She grew up among artists in London, her uncles and aunt on her father’s side were well known artists. She eventually met and fell in love with a young aspiring artist – I’m not sure, but I believed they were secretly engaged.” He paused and leaned back in his chair. “That artist died quite soon after and she was so heartbroken that she never married, despite the fact she was both rich and beautiful.”

“So, she fell in love with an artist. It doesn’t sound surprising given her circumstances, do we know who that was?

“No, but if he died young, he probably didn’t have time to establish a name or become famous. Life was hard back then; I recall that disease and accidents were much more commonplace in the 19th century.” He paused, and asked Sanha a question. “Sanha, when you showed me the photo on your phone, it looked just like a painting from that era. It crossed my mind for a minute that someone who knew her painted that. I’m surprised – no amazed – that it looks so much like her. But you say it was painted just a few weeks ago?” He shook his head and took another drink of his iced tea. 

“Grandpa, can I ask a favor? Could I borrow the book to show my artist friend, the one who painted the portrait?”

“Sure. I know you will take good care of it.” His grandfather put down his now empty glass and looked thoughtful for a minute. “You know, I think there may be a letter that she wrote in your grandmother’s trunk upstairs. After dinner, should we take a look?”

“Really? Please, let’s do it. Anything that could add to her history would be great.”

They closed the book and set it aside. Soon their conversation moved on to Sanha’s new school and students, and finally to his apartment in Seoul. In return, Sanha’s grandfather told him about his other family members and about his newfound hobby of photography. He proudly showed him several expertly executed photographs that were framed and hung around the room, consisting of various seascapes, sunrises and colourful scenes of their local markets.

They eventually moved into the kitchen after clearing the tea things and began to prepare dinner. They fell into a familiar comfortable routine of cleaning, cutting vegetables and preparing chicken to sauté with green onions and rice. They soon sat down to dinner and began talking in more detail about Sanha’s new life in Seoul.

“Could you tell me a bit more about your artist friend, the one who painted the portrait?”

“Of course. His name is Moon Eunwoo, he’s actually part owner of the school with Park Jinwoo, a longtime friend of his.” Sanha paused and looks down at his plate – trying to find the right words to say next. “He’s really an incredibly talented artist, specializing in portraits. In fact, he takes commissions from famous people and CEO level executives. Like me, he studied in the U.S. for a while. He’s so talented. I’m lucky to have been able to sit in during the time he was working on Myungjun’s portrait.”

“Myungjun, your roommate?”

“Yup, it’s almost finished now. Eunwoo uses such fine and delicate strokes of the paint brush, all his portraits are so perfect and lifelike.” Sanha paused and sighed softly. “He is just… wonderful.” Noticing his grandfather’s surprised look, he quickly corrects himself. “I mean, he is a wonderful artist. He’s won several awards too.” 

Clearing his throat, his grandfather rises from the table. “Well, that’s enough small talk. Let’s get the dishes done so we can look for that storage trunk.” Nodding his head, a red-faced Sanha picks up his plate and escaped into the kitchen.

They went upstairs in search of the old wooden footlocker that belonged to the family and where various family mementos and heirlooms were kept. Taking a key from his bedroom dresser, he gave it to Sanha to open the small wooden trunk. “Hopefully, the lock will be easy to open and not rusted. The salt air around here can sometimes cause problems with iron over the years.”

Thankfully, the lock opened easily. Sanha peered inside as he lifted the lid wide open. “Wow” he uttered as he gazed at its contents. Inside lay bundles of letters wrapped with silk ribbons, a couple of antiques fans, a small box of silver cufflinks, three gold pocket watches displayed in a clear box, vintage tie pins, a wedding veil tucked into a satin envelope and delicate jeweled hairpins in a velvet box. There are also a few antique photographs in tiny ornate frames, some so small they could be held in the palm of one hand.

Being methodical and organized, his grandfather suggested an approach to examining the contents of the small trunk. “Hmm.. let’s first move the objects to one side and check these letters to see if any are from Shoshana or to her.” They sat down on the floor and looked through the box, pausing only to talk about certain items that belonged to his grandmother or other close family members.

Finally, after about a hour of examining objects and reading a variety of letters, Sanha pulled out an old envelope and written on the outside in old fashioned English script, ‘My Aunt Shoshana. Her last letter.’

Sanha opened the envelope and inside is another smaller faded envelope bordered in black. Alongside the letter in a separate plain envelope is a finely made necklace. There is also a small, waxed paper envelope containing a few dried pressed flowers, which his grandfather identified as lilac blossoms. 

Sanha carefully opened the black bordered envelope and pulled out a single sheet letter also bordered in black. Sitting back on the floor, he quietly read its contents with his grandfather looking on. Soon, tears were falling from his eyes, his throat constricted so he soon found it hard to swallow; he had make an effort to keep his composure – never had he read such a letter as this. His grandfather rested his hand on Sanha’s back and comforted him – he already was familiar with the contents of the letter - having read it long, long ago. 

Sanha then picked up the necklace and examined the delicate amethyst and diamond ring that was dangling from it. Wiping his eyes, he quickly put everything back in the larger envelope and was quiet for a long while.

Sanha then looked at his grandfather and held up the envelope, giving him a questioning look. Immediately understanding, he said, “Yes, you can borrow this along with the book.”

Quietly and with care, they put all the items back in the small trunk and locked it with the key. Together they walked downstairs, sitting down in the comfort of the sofa to talk further, but not before his grandfather filled two glasses of chilled white wine, handing one to Sanha, and sat down in a nearby armchair.

They talked for a while about some of the other things that were in the trunk, pointedly avoiding any discussion regarding the black bordered letter. 

After a few minutes, his grandfather asked about the song he composed with Myungjun. Smiling and grateful for a change of subject, Sanha retrieved his guitar and after taking a minute to tune it, sang the song that he had composed with Myungjun, much to his grandfather’s satisfaction.

With a good-hearted smirk, his grandfather joked, “Now, aren’t you glad we encouraged you to learn how to read music?”

Laughing, Sanha teased, “You mean forced! I hated trying to learn the piano. Guitar is so much more my style.” He then stood up to put his guitar away, and gathering his grandfather into an affectionate hug said, “Good night, grandpa. Sleep well.”

“See you in the morning, shorty. Oh, how about I cook your favorite breakfast tomorrow – the one your grandmother used to make for you?”

“Bacon, eggs and pikelets? You know how to spoil me.” Smiling, he then climbed the stairs to his old bedroom and after changing into his pajamas and t-shirt, laid down face up on his bed. After listening to the distant roar of the waves washing over the beach for a few minutes, he suddenly felt weary and tired, glad to be finally in bed and soon fell asleep.

The next day Sanha woke up feeling rested and ready to enjoy the promised breakfast with his grandfather. As planned, he spent the entire day with his grandfather, helping with errands, replacing light bulbs, weeding the garden and helping to put of a shelf in the guest bedroom. Later in the afternoon, he walked down to the beach and after setting up an umbrella, reclined in a beach chair, listening to the sea and feeling the warm sand around his toes. He loved this place, remembering the good times he had there as a child – carefree and happy – while he gazed at the hypnotizing sea waves flowing in and out against the shore. 

He thought about Eunwoo and what he might think about the eerie resemblance of the antique photo of his distant aunt, with the unusual name of Shoshana, to the lady in his painting. It was a strange coincidence and he half wondered if perhaps Eunwoo had come across a copy of the photo and used it as inspiration for his ‘ _Lilacs and Mimosa’_ portrait. Smiling at the thought, he soon dozed off in his beach chair until his grandfather called him in for dinner.

~~

After a warm hug from his grandfather and a promise to return during his next school break, Sanha left the following morning. He was able to catch the mid-morning train and returned to his apartment in Seoul by early afternoon.

The apartment was quiet and empty since Myungjun is still traveling with Jinwoo and not expected to return for a few days. Sanha texted Eunwoo to confirm their dinner for later that evening and soon received a positive response. He then made himself a light lunch, did his laundry and spent an hour replying to his emails and texts. After taking a short nap and a long shower, he took his time to pick the right thing to wear; eventually choosing a light blue turtleneck pullover and black slacks. He then carefully placed the photo album and letter into his backpack and checking the time, called a taxi. Within a half hour he was standing in front of Eunwoo’s elegant home. 

He then slowly walked up the cobbled path to the door and after a brief pause, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while to write this. But I really do enjoy connecting the dots in past live reveals. I do hope you like it. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. As always, kudos and any comments are appreciated. Thank you! <3 <3


	15. For We Shall Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The maid looked sharply at Edward and forthrightly states, “The miss is not allowed visitors.” But seeing the disappointed look on his handsome face, she then cautiously asked in a whisper, “Are you by any chance, Edward?”

Edward is standing in front of the door of an elegant manor house. He looks to the right and fixed to the door frame he sees a small, intricately carved object. It is made in polished brass with an enameled inset with curiously carved symbols; however, it is not the bell pull he is looking for. So, with determination, he lifts and strikes the large bronze door knock that he sees mounted on the wooden panels of the door.

He is dressed in a grey frockcoat/suit, lavender and grey silk vest. His attire is completed with a well starched shirt and silk cravat which compliments Edward’s tall, slim body, helping him to look every bit like an up-and-coming young Londoner with his pale clear skin, black hair and dark piercing eyes. As he waits for the door to be answered, he looks about him, seeing the impressive front private road and beyond that, the black iron gate that marks the front entry to the property. Outside the gate the main avenue of trees can be seen lining the central field that bordered the village. His hired one-horse tilbury is waiting at the far end of the driveway. Suddenly, the door behind him opens and he turns to see a small round-faced maid looking up at him. “Yes? May I help you?”

“Is your master at home?”

“No, sir. He left a few hours ago and won’t be returning until dinner. Would you like to leave a message?”

Shaking his head, he then tentatively asks, “Is Shoshana at home?”

The maid looked sharply at Edward and forthrightly states, “The miss is not allowed visitors.” But seeing the disappointed look on his handsome face, she then cautiously asked in a whisper, “Are you by any chance, Edward?”

Smiling, he nods his head. “Yes, may I see her?”

She shakes her head and utters a firm, “No.” But then quickly adds in a low voice, “However, I can take a note to her.” Quickly he pulls a small notebook from his pocket and with a pencil writes a quick note and folding it carefully, hands it to the maid. Smiling, she takes it and leaves him waiting on the porch.

A few short minutes later, she returns with a message written on a folded sheet of stationery. He opens it and reads, ‘ _Edward, I will meet you in 30 minutes at the bottom of the back garden._ ’ The signature is a simple “S” in script. 

Nodding to the maid, he turns and walks down to his hired tilbury and taking the horse to a nearby trough by the gate, patiently waits for the horse to finish drinking. Mounting the vehicle, he turns and leaves the grounds, driving to a nearby copse of trees off the main carriage way and he ties up the horse and buggy. He then walks back toward the back garden, making sure that he cannot to be seen by the occupants of the house.

He waits on the outside of a low stone wall that overlooks a lush flower garden that is attached to the back of the house. He soon sees her, wearing a purple walking gown and holding an open basket designed for gathering flowers. Under the guise of cutting flowers, she slowly makes her way to the wall where Edward is waiting.

Tears are falling from her eyes as she bravely continues to cut and add flowers to her basket until it is nearly full with summer blooms of lilacs, roses, mimosa and Queen Anne’s lace. Glancing back at her house, she takes her last few steps to finally reach Edward. Setting her basket down, she looks up at him, her soft green eyes still wet with tears and forces her lips into a smile. 

He at once reaches out to her and taking her hands in his own, looks into her eyes to make one last plea. “Please, my love - come with me now. Come to whom you love, be my wife and leave this prison of a life that your father seems intent on forcing upon you.” He cannot keep the pain and desperation from his voice. “How can you shatter all of our dreams, our hopes and plans for a future together?” Fervently kissing her hand, he is now near to tears himself and looks at her with imploring eyes.

With pain in her eyes, Shoshana replies with a voice heavy with sadness and misery. “Please Edward, you know that I love you with all my heart. But I cannot, must not, dishonor my family and my father by running away with you. My mother would be heartbroken - she who has raised me and cared for me my whole life – I cannot do this to her.” Her tears begin to flow again, “Edward, how can I be happy knowing that I have broken my family’s heart to be with you?”

Edward realizes that what she asks is unanswerable and there is nothing he can say to convince her. Her father had rejected his formal proposal for her hand in marriage and nothing Edward could say could convince him of his worth, his sincerity and his love for Shoshana. 

Slowly he moves to remove his hands from hers. The tears he had held back are now falling slowly down his cheeks and makes no effort to stop them. 

Seeing his tears, she chokes out her next words, knowing he must be told. “My family is leaving tomorrow. Father is taking us to Vienna for the summer, and we will not be returning until the autumn.” She looks into his eyes, knowing these may be the last words she can say privately to him. “My love take care. Know that I will always keep you in my heart.” On those words she turns away, gathers up the cut blooms into her arms and slowly walks away towards the house, glancing back with tears in her eyes.

Edward’s heart is shouting, _No, please no! Do not leave me!_ But he says nothing aloud and suddenly feeling his legs buckle beneath him, collapses to the ground. He struggles to pull himself up enough to lean against the cold stone wall and raising his hands, covers his face and cries in complete and utter despair.

~~~

It is early September and autumn is showing in the yellow leaves that are beginning to appear on the trees lining the eastern boulevard in Highgate, north London. Shoshana is riding with her maid in a small, black covered carriage that was hired when she arrived at Highgate train station. She is wearing a dark grey traveling dress trimmed in black, her rich sable brown hair is hidden under a delicate grey bonnet. Her face is barely discernible through her black semi-sheer point d’esprit lace veil. She is wearing black gloves over her slim hands, a small bouquet of flowers resting on her lap.

When the carriage arrives at their destination, she turns to her maid and nods her head with a small smile of encouragement, and points toward the large metal doors that grace the large grey stone building. The maid quickly exits the carriage and walks into Highgate Cemetery front offices. Now alone in the carriage, she removes her left glove and reaching into her small black velvet purse, takes out a small silver ring with an amethyst gem that is bordered by two diamonds, one on each side. She puts it on the ring finger of her left hand and gently pulls her leather glove back on. 

The maid soon returns a few minutes later with a small, folded map in her hand which she gives to the driver and reenters the carriage. With a shake of the reins, the horses lurch forward, their hoof beats striking the paved path noisily as the driver guides them through the stone lined roads that winds its way up to Highgate West Hill street. The carriage stops and the maid exits and turning, lifts her hand to help Shoshana descend from the carriage. The air is damp from the previous day’s rain and a low mist can be seen in the distance beyond the long, winding roads and tangled ivy-covered knolls. The driver points to a shady grove of trees a few steps away. Silently nodding her head, she turns away and pulls back her veil and with the support of her maid, walks toward the trees stopping only when she finds his burial place. It is a simple yet serene place, graced with a small three-foot statue of two angels holding hands, with a plaque resting between them.

Kneeling, she lays down the bouquet of lilacs and white roses which she had held in her hand since arriving in London earlier that day. Plucking off two small blossoms, she places them into a small, waxed paper envelope, which is then tucked into her purse. She pulls out a small white polished stone and closing her purse, holds it in her hand. She then bows her head in silent prayer, tears now flowing freely from her eyes. Eventually she wipes her tears, slowly rises to stand and places the small, polished stone on his plaque. With one last look at the flowers, he turns towards the carriage and with her maid supporting her steps, walks slowly away. Her mind repeating the words, over and over again, that were engraved in stone above his resting place.

~ For me, do not mourn ~

~ In love’s grace, I will stay for thee ~

~ For we, shall meet again ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a new chapter - apologies for being a bit shorter than the others in length, but I felt the need to add a little more depth to Shoshana's and Edward's Victorian era story. I also added Chapter titles to this Fanfic - it was an interesting exercise to try to find the right words/phrase to earmark each chapter. 
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think in the comments and kudos are great appreciated. Cheers!


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